@Jynx I’m better but still not great.
Keeping it hidden does perpetuate stigma. I came across content today in how many Muslim women tend to stay silent about sexual violence in the context of war due to shame. There is definite cultural stigma at play. SA does happen outside the context of war in Muslim women too and I know people prefer not to talk about abuse because if the word goes out to the community, they are afraid of what people will say. Some cultures emphasise honour so much, it’s a struggle. I have integrated aspects of Western and Eastern culture into my identity, and sometimes they are both at conflict. I often feel torn. I want to be more open, but only to a certain degree. I don’t think it’s wise disclosing too much, I prefer privacy in my life. I know when it comes to forming deeper friendships, you need to be more vulnerable, I am slowly learning to be. I do have to draw the line, I wouldn’t want everyone to know about my personal struggles. I do not want to feel like I’m hiding my emotions so much of the time, I think having a safe place would be ideal, I’m just trying to figure out where I can find that place in my real life.
I do think I need to find a therapist who I can open up to about attachment trauma, even though I do feel guilty talking about it. It’s not something I can really talk about with friends. I don’t think family drama should be aired to everyone and at least in a therapy environment there is confidentiality. Sometimes I do feel guilty talking about stuff, but I don’t know how else I can heal
