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Re: Over think and over reactions

@BPDSurvivor Thanks. They have worked out their differences which is good and they are playing again nicely now. 

I have my own share of mental health issues and my daughter doesn't help. She refuses to listen to me and when I walk away she screams and abuses me and tells me that I don't love her because I'm not making her happy and fixing her problems. I've tried to explain to her its not my job to fix everything and make her constantly happy. I feel like I'm always doing something wrong with her. 

We live with my friends who help me with my trials and it hurts that my own daughter turns to them more to me. I often feel like I'm better often walking away and disappearing . I feel like I'm not really needed so what's the point in being here 

Re: Over think and over reactions

Ouch @Freedom11 ! That hurts! Children are powerful creatures!

 

May I ask how old your daughter is? (you don't need to answer if you don't want)

 

I work as a teacher and I've learnt that respect is gained when there's a balance of love and firmness. If anything, boundaries help children feel safe. They may kick at the boundaries, but that's their way of testing how far they can push you.

 

I hear how hard it is to manage motherhood while battling your own mental health issues. Do you think speaking to the friends you live with will help with consistency in the household for your child?

 

I reminds me of my nieces and nephews. I love them to bits and want to give them everything if I could. I hurts me to see their mother scolding or disciplining them in any way, yet I also know I shouldn't interfere. When they come crying to me, as much as I want to tell them they can have what they want, I know it's not good for them in the long run. Hence, I always go along with my sister and her husband say e.g. to get off the ipad, not to eat junk food without finishing their dinner, stop reading and go brush teeth....

 

I'm just a little concerned that I'll be moving in with them later this year. I'm such a softie. But I need to toughen up or they'll rule the roost!!! Thank goodness there are two parts to the house. I'll be living in one part and they will be living in the other. 

 

I know it's hard @Freedom11 - but sometimes it's about being cruel to be kind (of course I'm not talking about abusing children. Rather, it's about setting boundaries and sticking to them - including the people you are living with).

 

If you find the 'perfect' mother, let me know. As far as I'm concerned, you are doing your best. You cannot ask for more. Your daughter will one day turn around and realise the sacrifices you have made for her.

Re: Over think and over reactions

Hi @Freedom11 , thinking of you and wondering how you are.

Re: Over think and over reactions

@BPDSurvivor Hi. I'm doing ok today thanks. Went for a long drive the other night to catch up with friend which helped . I rang my brother today just to have a chat and he is very supportive and always got my back so was great to have a good laugh with him. 

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