@creative_writer define non-productive things. Your post reminds me of David Graebers work. I miss him so much. The way society defines productive is damaging to the planet and our mental health. Go easy on yourself.
A few years ago I stumbled across the concept of Kairos and Kronos:
Chronos means the tyranny of time. Eg deadlines, days months years etc . Being a slave to time (productive)
Kairos: the liberty of timelessness. Eg spending time at a museum,- you lose track of time. You can just.... be.
in 2007 i spent a day at a meditation and trauma therapy course. The guy running it talked about how in Aboriginal language there are no words for "past, present and future". They dont have a concept of it in their language/culture. They instead describe it as "now" or "a time other than now". He said they lived in a culture of timelessness. The idea stuck with me ever since.
There is nothing wrong with the dopamine rush. That is why we exist. It is just that social media gives us micro dopamine rushes and monetises it. Find what gives you joy. It is what it means to be human in a necro-capitalist world that constantly wants to deny us our humanity.
Apologies if i am getting deep.
In terms of study. As a ptsd survivor who just came out of an abusive family, it was very hard for me to complete those three years just to get a job where I rent myself out for money to survive. I felt I could never do it again, even years after I completed it. Yeah things did get better with my brain and I could focus but I still to this day couldnt go back to uni. I find teaching myself and learning at my own pace way better. Perhaps it is not so much about our "broken brains" but a broken education system within a wider broken political system. We all feel it. Try not to internalise it too much.
