Lived Experience Forum

[Jynx]

@Bow Sitting with dread is so, so hard. For me it can be like... time is both moving so so slowly, but gets away so quickly, bringing the dread closer. It's hard. 

Not sure what I can offer other than a hug and some presence 🤗💜 

[Bow]

It’s all a shitty big mess tonight. 
Wanna make myself sleep the day away tomorrow so I don’t have to face it. Didn’t gotta face the memories. Don’t gotta remember what he did. Is that ok?

[Jynx]

@Bow  only insofar as you're not forcing the sleep by using meds or other means. But if you need to spend the day hiding, if you need to shut off from the world and just be in bed, or if you need to go out and do something to reclaim you sense of freedom - like going running in the forest or something - then you can do that. You have power. You have choice. You are in control. I believe you will get through this. I know you can. 

[Bow]

Yeah 😔

I sorry 

[Jynx]

@Bow  is okay. One step at a time. 

I'm logging off for the night. Tag in the next @moderator to come sit with you though 💜

Till we cross paths again, I wish you only the best. Goodnight Bow 😘

[NatureLover]

@Bow  today is your trauma anniversary and we are here for you...

I like the idea you mentioned of sleeping the day away...I have days like that....I hardly engage with reality on those days. I am hoping that you can do something similar today if possible...

Sending hugs and 💜

[Captain24]

Thinking of you today @Bow 

[Bow]

today is hard. 😢

The truth I hold took years to unfold

Locked up and never told. 

I was only a child I didn’t know any better

He was my protector but it all came undone, 

When this grown man did what he should not.

Today represents the start of the torture.

It should be a day that’s celebrated but it’s not. 

In the numerous places it occurred, Loss of innocence, I didn’t have a choice, Nobody heard my voice.

How could he exploit my innocence?

How could he forget I was still just a child?

How could he play this game with me when I was not even a woman?

Can anything ever erase these dirty chapters?

Locked in this prison with no way to escape,

A lifetime of pain and wounds that won’t heal.

And as quick as it begun, it was then over. 

He never spoke of what he did. Never acknowledged the pain that he caused. Life just went on, pretending it never happened. But I remembered. 

[tyme]

I hear you @Bow . Hugs.

[Bow]

Today is nearly over but really it was just the beginning. I’ve slept most of the day with a little help, was the only way I could get through it.