Listening to triggering music

[tyme]

Not bad on my side @creative_writer . Can't believe it's Friday!!! I'm so lost with time nowadays... Barely know if I'm Arthur or Martha!

[creative_writer]

@tyme time does fly by so quickly. I feel like it flies by quicker the older you get. Things felt more slow paced as a child.

I’m still resting up, though it is making me uneasy. Not doing anything is bound to cause thoughts to pop in

[rav3n]

@creative_writer moving between city and some regional areas sounds nice! do you go to east asia often?

oh yeah it is crowded! i think it's the polluted air too, i already have pollen & dust allergies which unfortunately worsen when i get to India. and the weather switches from humid to rainy very quickly which doesn't help either 😅

do you have any plans for this month? are you completely done with studies for now?

[creative_writer]

@rav3n I don’t, it’s actually the first time. We don’t go for holidays often, it’s a once in a blue moon kind of thing. It’s very expensive and far to travel away from Australia.

Pollen and dust allergies wouldn’t help. Pollution makes a huge difference for sure.

I don’t have much plans, I need to get well and then start looking for work. I’m just a bit down in dumps right now because of how ill I’ve been feeling

[creative_writer]

I’m tired of keeping my emotions in. I don’t see any other way, I’m better off keeping my emotions to myself

[rav3n]

@creative_writer travel is so expensive ugh!!! it's nice you got to have a lil getaway this time. 

totally fair, after i finished my degree i took a couple months break (for my mental health) before jumping into a job. hope you're getting plenty of rest. 

i'm so sorry you feel heavy from keeping all those emotions in. you are allowed to express your emotions, that is your right. your feelings are ALWAYS valid and you shouldn't have to hold it in. whether its writing it out, singing it out, drawing it out, crying it out, talking it out, etc. 

[creative_writer]

@rav3n I’m going to go slowly so I don’t burn out and will be choosy for jobs. Part time is more ideal rn. I do have to start the application process because I do not know how long it’ll take till I land into a job.

The problem is when I’m around people which is often I naturally hold in my emotions because I learnt early on I was meant to do that. A lot of the time those emotions never seem to get expressed. The Cathartic cry only rarely ever occurs

[rav3n]

@creative_writer yes!!! taking it slow and being picky is worth it. finding a work culture/environment that understands mental health and is accommodating makes things so much easier, i hope it finds you.

that must be exhausting having to hide it so often. can i ask why you hide it? is it to avoid arguments? do feel embarrassed? etc.

[creative_writer]

@rav3n I hide to keep the peace but hiding it in for too long backfires 😢

[rav3n]

i hear you, i know how exhausting it is to keep things inside and at the same time, it's both isolating and scary to open up and ask to be heard. SENDING YOU BIG HUGS 💜

@creative_writer but what about your peace? doesn't seem fair that your peace is constantly sacrificed for others. 

can i ask, what's the worst that would happen if you did open up and have a conversation about how you really feel?