Listening to triggering music

[creative_writer]

I feel miserable not being able to do much due to this lightheaded feeling. I feel stupid for posting on the forums, other people probably have worse things going on for them

[Ru-bee]

Hey @creative_writer sorry to hear you're still feeling pretty under the weather

The forums are for everyone, there's no criteria of having to be a certain amount of unwell to be able to post here. You absolutely belong here as much as everyone else, and deserve to be supported. It's great that you're able to keep reaching out

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee it’s hard not feeling well. Even the things I would be able to do feel harder. It’s hot, I’ve been sick and been on extra meds (which I finished yesterday). I feel like my blood pressure may have dropped, my mind feels hazy, especially when I stand up. I can’t even complete a simple form right now because my mind won’t function. It’s hard not to feel low and anxious. This month has been a rough one for me

[rav3n]

hey @creative_writer i hear how rough this month's been for you, hoping the next week is a lil brighter for you. don't forget to stay hydrated too (i always forget this when i'm sick) 💗

[creative_writer]

@rav3n staying hydrated is really important. I do hope I recover up soon, I also have a social event on Saturday. My parents want to connect me to the community, especially since they think I’m ready for marriage

[Ru-bee]

It's awful enough being sick and then having to deal with the heat as well @creative_writer that's a lot to go through. I hope you're getting lots of rest and things will start turning around for you soon!

[rav3n]

@creative_writer yes it is! i'm using hourly alarms to remind myself to grab a cup of water at the moment hehe

oh woah how are you feeling about the upcoming social event? are you open to the idea of marriage?

[creative_writer]

@Ru-beeI’m still resting up, everything else can wait for now. I have to do lists piling up.
 
@rav3n @Ru-bee 
I have marriage stuff playing in my mind. I told my mum about the conversation I had with my old psych and she wasn’t impressed. I told my last psych I felt no desire to have sex and was wondering whether it was fair to still go ahead with marriage. Psych said maybe it’s best for me to not get married as sex needs to be good for a healthy relationship. I have people telling me you can find someone who is on par with you and things can change and every relationship is different and some might not require as much physical. But I feel so torn, I wouldn’t want to deprive my future partner of their natural needs. I know everyone is different, but I fear most guys will want more than I can provide. I have intrinsically narrowed my choice by doing this and finding someone who fits my criteria is hard. Not to mention, I have chronic health conditions too and I don’t see myself able to get pregnant anytime soon. I would avoid medications when pregnant but my bipolar won’t let me be medication free for now. I don’t know if I’m thinking too much

[rav3n]

@creative_writer honestly i think things like being able to meet someone's sexual needs, desire/ability to have children, etc., are fair things to think about when you do start dating. but i think a lot of the time, we feel immediately think 'marriage isn't possible because I can't provide XYZ' which isn't always the case.

there are men out there who don't want children or don't need children to feel fulfilled, there are men out there who don't care about sex (some may be on the asexual spectrum), there are men who have struggled with their mental health, men that have also dealt with SA too, or have a strong understanding of it so they can offer patience and support. 

basically, you are worthy and enough as you are, regardless of whether you are ready or not for marriage. do you still feel like it's something you'd want soon? or later on?

i guess something to consider is how transparent would you be with your potential partners? and how early would you disclose this information? 

[creative_writer]

@rav3n I know there are men out there who may be more similar to me, I just haven’t met any, so it’s hard for me to imagine. If I can’t seem them, it’s hard for me to believe they exist.

At this point I only see myself marrying for companionship and friendship. There will be information I’ll need to reveal earlier on, it might involve revealing some personal information (even if it’s not everything). There will be things I wouldn’t want to talk about and would add no value, but I think that’s pretty normal for anyone