I can’t cope

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , well if you say you 'shouldn't be this negative', does the word 'shouldn't' put you in a place to feel like you have failed?

Show yourself some love and self compassion. 

While you lie awake in bed tonight, consider 5-4-3-2-1 things you are grateful for. I think I've mentioned it before, but when you consider gratitude, a lot of these 'ugly' feelings become more distant.

Oh, I didn't notice the time! I'd better start wrapping up and do my handover notes! I'll catch you tomorrow. Take care my dear. 

Hugs to you. You are NOT a failure. You are a fighter.

[Captain24]

Thanks for tonight. I know I’ve been too much but you still had time for me and I appreciate that @tyme 

[tyme]

Hugs @Captain24 . You deserve it.

[ArraDreaming]

Hey @Captain24

[Captain24]

 

 

[Captain24]

I had my Pdoc appointment today @tyme @Jynx. 

She asked lots of questions. Lots of questions. She is really nice though. 

She agrees with the bipolar diagnosis however with one psychosis. I’m hoping that doesn’t come up again. 

Im not sure what else she suspects. But ADHD is one of them. It’s hard though as she believes that it could be the adhd causing my mood. The problem with that is stimulants can cause mania. Anti-depressants can cause mania. So the adhd is hard to treat. 

She is changing my munchie med. she thinks that is part of my substantial weight gain. I will find out how and what to next appointment. 

Then I had my dietitian appointment and it was really good. We talked about how my mood is affecting my eating patterns. I need to see what I am feeling when I want to eat. To get to the bottom of what is causing the eating or not eating. 

Im really tired. It’s been a big few days. And extend GP appointment, an emergency psych appointment, the Pdoc appointment and then the dietitian. 

While all of them went so well and people really do care the exhaustion has left me really low. Really worn out. Really struggling. Really lost. Really open. Really raw. Really vulnerable.

[Jynx]

AYYY YOU DID IT @Captain24 big day of appts conquered!! No surprise that you're pretty wrecked, and yeah I always feel all raw and delicate after big appts. Much blanket-time is required!! 

Are you feeling like they were overall pretty productive? 

Also BIG MOOD on the eating dealio. Has been a big part of my own ADHD journey - realising just how often I was eating for the dopamine, and not cos I was hungry! My hot lil tip - sometimes our bodies are kinda funky and will send hunger signals when we're actually thirsty. A big glass of water also fills up the tummy so I then no longer feel like snacking after! Also... if I want food but not that food, it's probably also just dopamine cravings, cos if I'm actually hungry, I care a lot less about what I'm eating cos I just want any food at all. Hope that made sense!

[Captain24]

Yeah. Very productive @Jynx. Some of the questions has me question if she is looking for other things. I need to make an appointment for a couple of weeks and we go through so much more. It was a full on hour. But so much. So much information shared.

Eating is a big issue. I was really hoping I’d get stimulants and have it help with weight loss. I have a dietitian because I have an eating disorder so I have to be careful. 

Sounds like meds are going to be a very rocky road. 

[Captain24]

Sorry if Ive overshared. 

It’s ok 

I don’t want to be a bother. 

Im sorry if I upset anyone. 

I’ll just disappear 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

What's going on in your mind for you to say at these things?

I've been busy in meetings and am just starting on the forums. Jynx is engaged in another task off the forums.

How's everything? What's happening for you?