I can’t cope

[tyme]

Oh, and @Captain24 , I had an appointment through the app today. Then I have another in 2 week's time @Captain24 

[Captain24]

That’s good. I’m glad you still have a follow up one. I’m glad you had that app to lean on.

I’m just over it @tyme. Sometimes I wonder that things keep going so wrong because I really am that much of a despisable person. 

Yep gas for pretty much everything. The good thing is when there is no power I still have a cooktop to cook with. No hotter though as it requires electricity to start the gas. 

That would be so nice. We could just chat and be free. 

I think so much is going on in my head that I’m not finding anything enjoyable. Plus everyday last block I got criticised for something and I took it all personally. The nightshift I did the dump operator was just up me over the 2 way. At crib time she asked if I was tired cause I wouldn’t talk much. Why would I talk to her after being such a bitch. 

I have lost the passion for it though. But I’m hoping as my life changes I will re-find it. If my life changes. 

Sorry I’m really not ok at the moment. 

[tyme]

It feels like it's sort of this slump in life @Captain24 . I remember you used to love your job, but now, things are just getting harder and harder with only limited days of reprieve.

I really don't have an answer, but I'm sure it's not because you are a despiseable person. No way. I reckon you'd be awesome to be around!

Let's just say it's a little kink along the way, and things will improve...

[Captain24]

There aren’t  many days of reprieve at the moment. @tyme it’s just one day after the next. At work and at home. 

I use to be fun to be around. I reckon we would get on well. 

Once upon a time I use to have 3 different friend circles. Before I moved back here. 

It’s another kink. It’s like it’s just one after the next. It doesn’t matter if I try or if I don’t. I’m ready to give up altogether. I’m holding on by a thread. 

[tyme]

Even though you feel like giving up, you have protective factors in your life like your dogs @Captain24 .

I hear it is hard, and that's when it's important to lean on others - like you have been with your psych etc.

[Captain24]

The little black one is curled up on my lap asleep. @tyme He’s being all cute.

I often wonder if they are better off without me. 

I have no one now for 2 weeks. So I’ve got to go it alone. See if I can make it through. 

Maybe if I get through tomorrow and the dreaded appointments maybe I’ll feel lighter. If I get some gas as well. 

[tyme]

Would you call SANE's support line? @Captain24 

And yes, not having gas would make me cranky toooooo !!! I don't blame you! Maybe it's okay to feel the world has turned upside down - cold showers, no cooktop cooking... it's like living in a cave again!

[Captain24]

Maybe I can try them after everything tomorrow @tyme.

I need someone to help me 

What makes it even worse is that I ordered it. It must shows how useless I am, I can’t even order a gas bottle correctly? 

[tyme]

Or, maybe they stuffed up @Captain24 ? How do you know it's your fault? 

[Captain24]

It always seems to be me that stuffs up @tyme 

Im so sorry. I shouldn’t be this negative.