Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

Is there another way you can work through this hurt you are experiencing @The-red-centaur ?

I'm hearing how hard it is for you at the moment.

[The-red-centaur]

I ended up having a chat with the support worker after my housemate went to bed. It helped calm me down. 

I slept ok surprisingly. Now I'm watching the sunrise. 

I'm hoping today will be a better day. 

[The-red-centaur]

I'm trying to focus on other things 

[tyme]

How are you feeling today @The-red-centaur ?

Good on you for speaking to the support worker. I acknowledge that this may not have been an easy thing to do.

[The-red-centaur]

I'm tired.  I'm sore. 

I'm also tired of fighting the thoughts. 

My health sucks and my mental health is always shit. 

[tyme]

I hear you @The-red-centaur .

It is tiring to fight. I hope you find a way to allow these emotions and thoughts to pass through without having to fight them? I recognise this can sound absurd, as it did when I heard it. However, the idea of radical acceptance can really make a big difference to one's mental health.

[BossBaby]

@The-red-centaur We all need to find some peace with the unwanted parts of ourselves. I know there's aspects of physical and emotional pain that really can and should be treated with appropriate pain relief, but @tyme's comment on radical acceptance reminded me of how I have recently been experimenting with a kind of radical acceptance of the unwanted parts of myself - unwanted by others. It's a way of accepting those who haven't accepted me (my interpretation) and that feels sort of liberating, like the next level of healing or even a way to claim my spot in someone's story. So the example is whenever that song comes on "Motor's Too Fast" with the lyrics "Mama don't want you, daddy don't want you" rather than endure it as some sort of perverted attack on innocence (the dark places the mind goes on the recovery journey), I'll reframe it as honest and pro-choice and if that's not enough I might need to counter the sentiment with a song like "Delete" - "don't delete my baby, don't defeat her still." Anyway, I sort of have to do that because there's always music playing at work that I have to be able to function through. I wonder what next level acceptance you might reclaim for the unwanted parts of yourself, your health, your thoughts? Thinking of that driving the bus analogy from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - rather than reject those unwanted thoughts, they can go and sit behind you in the bus where you're the driver, not your challenging thoughts. You are so talented at painting that ocean landscape, I have hope that you can sketch a more satisfying mental landscape for yourself.

[tyme]

So true @BossBaby  Thanks for the reminder. 

Here's the Youtube clip about this metaphor in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z29ptSuoWRc

[The-red-centaur]

Thanks @tyme @BossBaby 

I really like the idea of radical acceptance, it was my favourite part of dbt. 

I'm trying to accept my body, it's just tiring being sick all the time. My case manager thinks a lot of my mental health comes from my physical health. 

I slept most of the day yesterday, it helped a bit. But I'm still so tired. I might have a chest infection on top of that which is making it worse. 

[tyme]

You are so right. Physical pain can really have a toll on one's mental health. I've experienced it myself. @The-red-centaur 

Do you go for walks much? I wonder if you can go out with a support worker once in a while if you don't already?

In my early days, I really didn't understand Radical Acceptance, but now, after a lot of therapy, I can understand what it is to accept the things we simply have no control over and make the most of life.

We will never have the perfect life, but at least we can be kind to ourselves.

Hugs