@dhr53 - Living in a rural place must make it very difficult to connect easily - and the 65 km drive there and back, makes it hard and a real effort, and too much 'thinking time' on the way home, eh?
I certainly didn't say it was ALL in the attitude by any means, yet, really where we are, our lives, what we decide to do - these things are circumscribed by having to weigh a lot of things in the balance. What DOES definitely help me (when I am travelling well) is setting my attitude with intention and attention. Making the most, or the best of the situation.
I used to be a high level manager with a team, I was responsible for a lot of stuff, worked 80 hour weeks, thrived and survived in a difficult fast paced environment for near on a decade, then all that changed, it has taken me several years to come to terms with the fact that I 'broke' - that I am no longer capable of doing that kind of level of work, (or any paid work anymore). I felt helpless, hopeless, useless and despondent about my life's prospects being in my early -mid fifties with a good brain (when it isn't being mucked about by Bi polar). I have carved out a small life now, it is full of home and dogs and being for the first time in my life a stay at home 'wife'. I tackle projects around home like I am still the 'manager' and make it my 'job' to create a home for my partner as they are the one having to go out and earn our living. I take that role very seriously like it is a 'paying' job - because it is!
So my attitude which used to be - "I am worth 'more than this", "I should be able to work", "I must be able to do xx or I am not a worthwhile human being", how "unfair it all is that I just want to do xx and can't anymore" had to change or I would drown in my own sorrow and mis-alignment of values and lifestyle. I adjusted my atttitude through - acceptance - I accepted that, despite the other part of me wanting it to be different, that its not, and all my railing against it was never going to make me what I no longer am.
I also got sober, stopped drinking and accepted that no matter what is going on in my life, drinking doesn't make it any easier or better, everything is harder with a hangover, relationships, work, friendships, mental health balance, fitness - everything. I have not had a drink for 5 years, and no matter how hard it got during those 5 years, and boy was it tough - severe back injury, surgery, mental health crisis, frail elderly Mum, losing my job, having a full-hysterectomy, losing both my darling dogs in the same year - I didn't pick up, because I KNOW that drinking alcohol was self medication (not a disease in itself per se) and now I know what is wrong with me, and have some relief from some medication I let that be the only mood altering 'drug' I take.
I hope sharing my story here shows more what I mean by attitude - For me it is a sailing term, and when one is becalmed at sea, or a storm is blowing - it is in the 'attitude of the sails"that makes or breaks us, it means one has a chance to ride out the conditions - skilfully -.
who talks about wierd stuff. <laughing at myself> My main company is my partner who works and supports us (I am very fortunate) and they too are busy with work and just wanting to 'unwind' when home.