Change

[Former-Member]

Hi @dhr53

That does sound like a really isolating part of the country. I live in a regional town now but used to live out of town on a small propery while i was married. I was isolated but more because of my ex partner being very controlling than there not being anywhere to go. 

I was wondering if you would be interested in joining a group of some sort in the nearby town, like the CWA or LION, they usually only meet once a month in most places, and i did see that some LIONs groups in regional areas are going to meet by skype soon!! I was wondering if having something to look forward to might help in easing some of the intensity... 

After a while with my ex i was able to go do the shopping once a week in the nearest shopping centre and it was something that kept me going during the week a lot, especially after i managed to link in with a womens wellness nurse after my second child was born who would meet with me and catch up for a chat (and eventually i shared with her my home circumstances and another long time later eventually left!).

I was also wondering if there are any hobbies you already do that could help you to get out and about? or local/semi local football club? we had a footy club about a half an hour away that did thursday night teas regularly through the football season and then continued right up to christmas run by the church ladies, and everyone was welcome there for meals, not just the players. 

I also hope htat being on here might help a bit too,

LJ

[dhr53]

Hi LJ, thank you for your thoughts. I am beginning to realise that it is my mindset that is my problem. And always looking for answers else where to stop the rubbish that goes on in my head. I hope you have a good year.x

[Jaye-Kay]

Hi Change - I think isolation and loneliness is a really tough eal. I've been there - and although now moved to a somewhat more accessible area, still it is a challenge.

a few very practical ideas

1) could you set a commitment for yourself that you will do that long drve, once a wekk or even once a fortnight, regularly, if it's not too much - to aattend something that's nourishing and with others? that way you've always got something you're looking forward to

2) although you live on a farm, are there others in the area you could meet up with even occassionally for some kind of community get-together? even just to play cards / boardgames / have a book club?  starting up something like this could be a great local project - as I bet there are others out there, in your wider region - who feel the same way

3) when we worry about whether we say things which are odd / talk too much in shops / being the person who says "weird things" - well, we could turn that around the other way. ie; the world needs people llike us, who think and say something surprising and different and have another take on things, otherwise it would be boring and we'd be repeating same old same old narrow conversations, day after day - maybe sometimes it's nice for those shop keepers, that some is catting with them and has something different to say. enjoy it!

4) do you have animals? not livestock, I mean - but a pet you could bond with? it helps  (and on that note - a regional dog-lovers /cat-lovers/snake-charmers club could be a social event?)

5) yup, your husband is busy, tired, etc - and for sure he sounds like a good man. but we all need joy and play and quality time. maybe there could be a deal between you, where you play cards or do something else you both enjoy, for an hour or so, one eve a week.

6) is there aa local church you could go to, even just sometimes? in my view - and I hope Christian folk would agree - you don't have to feel you're committed in faith, in order to attend. it's still people coming together in community?  even if you don't "believe" - you could consider that you are also making a contribution by attending......  without any people, there'd be no congregation

these are just ideas, that might help spark new sense of possibility. and keep chatting with folk here - I hope that helps      take care. JK