Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

What most people don't understand is that we send most of our holidays planning and organising things for the next term though @BlackCat13. It is a very hard job we do and the amount of out-of-hours work we do is massive - and that doesn't often include the amount of extra hours we have to do to enter data and do 'paperwork' aside from planning and marking. The Teaching part is the easier part but then we have to deal with the behaviour of 30 kids and all their individual histories and behaviours - and then outside forces that want us to teach even more and more - there is not enough time in the day to teach what we need to already 

[BlackCat13]

 Laying here tonight trying not to catastrophize my thought, but feeling like I am losing that battle. Why does the universe seem to think I need 2-3 major stressors all at once? Why not just 1? Last night my father rang to tell me is having spinal surgery on the 12 of Nov. this will be is 3rd operation since March 2017. The last time he was in hospital for 5 weeks and the did 3 weeks at a rehabilitation hospital. So this means I will have my mother staying with me, for who knows how many weeks. Oh it is also one of the busiest and most stressful times for me at work having over 320 assessments and end of year report cards to write in the next 3 weeks ( no time is given to us to do this during school time). 

I am also still dealing with the side effects ( headache inducing jaw clenching, and another new symptom less friendly to the system) of my triple dose antidepressant. Psychiatrist is reluctant to. Hanger anything as he feels I am the best I have been in a long time. Guess the next few weeks will be the testing pot. Fingers crossed 🤞 that I make it through the next 6 weeks of work and family before horrible Christmas takes over ...bah humbug is already developing 

[Zoe7]

This is a really busy time of the year for you and with everything else going on it would be making it so hard to get through. I feel for you @BlackCat13 - doing assessments and reports is hard enough but you are dealing with so much in your personal life as well.

I hope the side effects ease up a bit for you and the meds help. Also hoping everything goes ok with your Dad and that your Mum is not too hard to live with.

Goodluck with the next 6 weeks and getting to the holidays for a rest 

[BlackCat13]

I can’t seem to stop crying tonight. Random things, anything seems to set me off. Plus a realisation that I am an idiotic, naive person who seems to have nothing but a job she hates and a love for a fluffy cat who will eventually leave her more alone and isolated than she already is...

[BlackCat13]

Soooooooooo tired and exhausted getting to sleep should be easy. WRONG!!! So I take my sleeping tablet and wait fir it to kick in, usually an hour or so. But lately I wake up and cannot remember what I was doing before I fell asleep, it’s a little scary. I was also told how great I seemed to be doing at work (my HOC knows a little about my history) instead of just saying thank you little miss accurate here pipes up sayin it is all show, robot mode kicks in and I get distracted. When the bell rings for home it is like coming out of a hypnotic trance and diving straight back into that dark, depressing pool of thoughts and overthinking. I’m struggling to do anything but sit on the couch and stare off into the nothing.  Also wondering tonight if seasonal depression can be the opposite to the usual? I just hate this heat so much, would much rather be back in Melbourne in June 🧤☔️❄️

[Blank]

I’m a teacher too

[Zoe7]

Hi @Blank I see you are relatively new to the forum so welcome.

What do you teach?

@BlackCat13 How are you doing Hon?

[BlackCat13]

Hi @Zoe7 it has been a long difficult week but I now have a day to hide from the world an try to do some work on reports before my parents come down, we do the family thing for my sister’s birthday and then dad’s operation. 

[BlackCat13]

Hi @Blank,

It’s a tough job sometimes when mental illness takes a grip. I hope you have a calm night and day ahead.

[Zoe7]

I hope you get some of those reports done @BlackCat13 I know how much time they take and how much you need to put into them - not easy on the best of days but even harder when you have other things to deal with too. Goodluck with it all @BlackCat13 - will be thinking of you Hon