Fragile

[Appleblossom]

Today I was online a bit and played piano.  In a way this forum has become a form of church for me atm.

I havent been to irl church much  @Former-Member A year after mum's death.

I pray, read theology, still do community work, love my family, and sing fine sacred music.  I am still the same.  

I know my story is hard to hear. Its been a lot harder to live.

The Churches need to address the Sexual Abuse issues without sweeping things under the carpet.

For the moment I am going where people treat me well, when I pull my weight. 

Trying not to be dissappointed.  Looking for the Rainbow.

[Former-Member]

Don't blame you for avoiding the church at all @Appleblossom, especially with you & your family history, and this RC keeping the wound open. Institutions / structures usually fail. Individual people can be so ignorant, avoidant and selfish a lot (probably guilty of it more often than i care to admit too), don't wanna risk conflict or pain, and rebuff it in us. Kinda bri gs out a side of them they dont like and being on the front line - we're the ones that cop it, especially defenders su h as yourself. I stuck a note to self on my fridge last year, to help me separate myself from their choices / attitude toward me. Its simple "THAT'S THEM WHO AM I" But of cause you wouldnt want to rub shoulders with them in a worship setting. I've had big blocks, sometimes a year away from attending church. This church i attend atm really level out the playing field in teaching that we're all broken & need Christ. Kinda creates that atmosphere you see at the end of the movie Titanic. Ha, in an ideal world (yes I'm a dreamer). Its hard enough to stand strong without critics in ya face, i get it. But always seen you as spiritual Apple - i have no doubt you are part of The Kingdom of God. The Holy Spirit is everywhere. Hugz ❤❤❤

[Maggie]

@Appleblossom  I've read some of your thread, poor concentration atm. I've read many of your posts and liked your honesty. I'm hoping to give just the smallest hint of encouragement and will possibly be reading in the background, I do that a lot, not much to offer in comparrison to many. You are doing well. Very well.

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @Maggie 

@Former-Member Just saw your post. I am so glad you understand. I did not know whether some of my remaining in the church was stubbornness or clingingness or me just hanging onto something for security. 

I am glad that you have found a church with a sense of community. You deserve it after some of the stuff you had to deal with.  It probably makes your time with your father more possible as you are getting some spiritual nourishment.

I will be going for a few days without laptop or phone to a music workshop in the country.  SO dont worry about my absence.

Friends

[Former-Member]

Enjoy your music workshop in the country @Appleblossom

I am a little jealous but happy for you. Let us know  how it goes ❤

Waiting with anticipation  🙂

[Zoe7]

I know you are off on your music adventure @Appleblossom but wanted to drop by this thread and say I hope it is alll that you wanted it to be 

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @Zoe7 @Former-Member

Am home safe and sound.

It was a lovely break 

Lots of music and friendly interactions at workshop and on the trains with staff and passengers.  It also builds future relationships here and around Australia.

I go partly to give son the repeated experience of short breaks of the whole house to himself.  He is fine, a little subdued and tummy ache, maybe with too much vegan stuff.

I thought of you all on the last leg of my journey on the metro train.  No-one apart from all you wonderful people and my son  and gf knew I was away.

[outlander]

Your time away sounded loveley @Appleblossom just what the dr ordered ❤

[Shaz51]

the break sounded lovely @Appleblossom 

[Queenie]

Sounds like it was a lovely break @Appleblossom. Just what was needed to recharge the batteries. xx