Feeling lost

[Pixie]

I am a lost person, I have had Depression / Anxiety for 20+ years, to now being told I have Bipola 2, I'm trying to get my head around that.

For years I have managed with others help and been very productive in life. But right now I am going through a tough time.

My mood is fluctuating on a daily basis, from depression to manic and the anxiety sometimes prevents me from leaving the house, let alone being in social situations. Confusion is the pits, my family tell me that they have to repeat themselves becouse I don't hear or understand what they are telling me ( I feel stupid ). I try hard to consentrate, but I can become easily distracted so I have a number of tasks going at once and that is frustrating.

Anxiety, Isolation and borderline social phobia at the moment have provented me from maintaining relationships; using public transport, going to the shops and appointments on my own, even driving some days.

I feel lost as to how to get past this time in my life, from crying over nothing to being irritable with myself or others.  I think I am doing the right things for me, like trying to keep a routine, take all my medication ( when I don't forget ) and seeing a team of people who try to help.

But I still feel I need something else, what that is I have no clue.

[Baboo]

Welcome @Pixie 

I hope while you look through the fourm here that you can read all sorts of wonderful advice and strong brave stories from people whom have experienced simular emotions and concerns that you have too.

The search bar at the top right hand side of the screen helps me when im looking for a particular conversation i want add on to or read.

What do you do in your day to day life right now to keep your self occupied?

Please dont feel stupid- having MI issues can sometimes make people a little forgetful- theres so much going on in your head that an appointment time, a last conversation or even what day of the week it might be can slip away from you.

I hope you can tell your family to be patient with you in these times.

How well can you talk to your "team of people"? What are their ideas to help so far?

Baboo

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Pixie 

Welcome to the Forums.

Sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time. You've got a lot going on right now, getting a new diagnosis, and it feeling like you're on an emotional rollcoaster. It can be so confusing and overwhelming. You're not alone. A lot of members here on the Forum have been through similar circumstances. 

Off the type of my head, I think @kato  might have a similar diagnosis to you. Perhaps he can provide some advice/support? Also, you might like to connect with@Jersey85 who wrote this post, about just being recently diagnosed with bipolar 2. Similarly, @Vonziker wrote this post.  It seems they are also going through similar motions as to you - feeling confused and overwhelmed about a new diagnosis. Perhaps you can exchange experiences.

While waiting for a response, you might like to read factsheet about what you can do when thing don't seem quite right helpful. 

CB

[kato]

@Pixie 

Hi Pixie, i don't know if i have said hello to you before, but if not Hello and welcome to the forums, from what i can gather you are really struggling at the moment, trying to work out what is best for you, and that you feel you are missing something,

i have been struggling for awhile with bipolar, anxiety depression possible mood disorder, i have only just become aware of a couple of new things that have been brought to light from my last visit with my psychiatrist. I am in a similar boat where my mood fluctuates throughout the day from depressed to manic, with too many thoughts and ideas to register properly in my head, one thing i have found that has helped me is using this forum,

i try and go for a decent walk with a good friend, and on that walk i discuss things that are rattling around in my head, i also found that writing a journal helps, and when i feel a bit lost i read back through that and see how i have managed to get myself out of a rut, previously, i find that i have a process in the morning and at night to ensure i don't forget to take my meds, in the morning it is the first thing i do is take my morning meds, doesn't matter what time i wake up, but i make sure every day that is the first thing i do. at night i have an alarm set on my phone that says take meds and goes off at the same time every night, it also ensures i don't forget to take the night time meds.

When i find myself getting too distracted i practice breathing techniques to help ground me in my surrounds, i just concentrate on the feeling the expierence of each breath in and out, and thinking only of that, if a worrysome thought pops up, that is ok, i address it, and then back to concentrating on breath perhaps it might help for you?

Also a big thing for me is to control my mood using music, for me, i can pick up or lower my mood by listening tto different sorts of music, so i have two playlists saved on my phone, one is titled pick me up and the other is calm down

they speak for themselves really, pick me up is upbeat fun music, calm down is more mellow, i find using that works to help me adjust my mood and centre my thoughts better.... it might be helpful too

please feel free to ask me questions, about this that and the other and i will try and answer as best as i can, but you are not alone, with feeling this way, and you have found some extra support here in this forum

thank you

[Jersey85]

Hi Pixie,

I understand how you are feeling as I am going through very similar right now. I have ad depression and anxiety for the last 15 years and then just last week was told I have bipolar II. I am currently on an emotional rollercoaster trying to deal with both the diagnosis but also my later hypermania phase and the subsequent crash.

Like you, at the moment I am trying to do all the right things of seeing doctors and psychiatrist, getting into a routine with new medication and relying on my family as support but all of that doesn't realy help with the emotional rollercoaster. I think all we can do is take it day by day and give it time......

[Pixie]

Hi Baboo

My day to day is trying to follow a roster that is set out in an hourly time line, once I have done the important things, I like to do art and craft, my puzzles, talk to my mom or go see her if I am able to drive.

Thank you for the reminder that having MI issues can sometimes make people a little forgetful. I think some of my family are patient with my confusion and forgetfulness.

The team I work with helped me make the roster and we are working on Gradual Exposure so that I can get out of the house and back into the community. ( some days are hit and miss  ).

[Pixie]

Hi CherryBomb

Thank you for letting me know about these people I will start there and also read the factsheet.

[Pixie]

Hi Kato

Thanks for the ideas. I have put a note out in the kitchen and set my phone alarm for taking my medication, this seems to be working. I am using a couple of grounding techniques, breathing, listing five things around me using my senses. This works some days.

Your right about music having an effect on a person, I play music every day but have not thought to put a list together.

Regards

Pixie

[Pixie]

Hi Jersey85
As you say a day by day approach is good. I'm taking it hour by hour with a roster because I'm easily confused or distracted lately.
How do you manage through the day?
Pixie

[Pixie]

Hi CherryBomb
Thank you for letting me know about these people I will start there and also read the factsheet.