Son needs to leave home (31)

[Alessandra1992]

Hey @sharona,
That's great progress with looking into the DSP. I hear your pain from the stress of being in conflict with your loved one! I find it incredibly hard when there's yelling and shouting at home...but I am getting better at not reacting, and walking away to another room can be very helpful for me..it is very difficult to not take it personally...

[Appleblossom]

At 31 years your son can understand basic issues of survival.

Yes it is great he has some motivation to go to the gym.

As parents of vulnerable people we want to extend a care bubble around them.

Sometimes money issues can be used to show what is viable and what is care and what is taking advantage and tipping over into abuse.

Good luck.

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @sharona, how are you? Love responses your getting.

@ivana brings up something that you might be able to do when your son leaves and.....exercises in communicating . I must look that up.

@Appleblossom
knowledge......
@Louise
writes of support people which I personally feel is a good way to go.

Can you try for assistance of getting support person with;
Salvation Army
Arafmi
You could be surprised at your options.

I'm like @Alessandra1992. I cannot bear being abused.

Just to let you know.....my son was really ill till he was 16. He then moved out of home with my Mum. For the past 6 months, she's been saying hE's been messing her around and she asked him to leave about 3 weeks ago. Then I forgot his 21st birthday. And my oldest son is suffering mental ill health over East and he felt very Isolated.
He survived. So will your son.

I personally have a gift of gathering up as much support as I can get because I feel I need a lot., when I go through a dilemma, I can deal with it better.
You deserve that too.

[Appleblossom]

@PeppiPatty

Lucky you about getting support.  Is it a gift or a skill or good luck, right place at right time?

[Appleblossom]

@sharona

I hope you have managed to get support to stem the flow of negativity.

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @sharona, I remember reading your post but was dealing with my own stuff......still am but fortunately, first step is taken. I agree with Ivana. But I'm a little like you, overwhelmed and too much to go to Pilates at the moment but ......I did go to some classes and oh, I felt amazing........well, that was a couple years ago ....... Now I just, do the stretchy thing 3x10 per day. The stretchy thing sits there and working out I'm not in that place to use it at the moment....... what @Louise said is just so right. when I go through nightmares with illness it's so good to have a support person. When I went through getting rid of nightmare ex who just wouldn't go even though called the police.....etc, I decided to take a different tactic and on my own got.....support letters from Doctors and the local community centre which had a homeless section that he was well known at. I did it alone and used Sane forums to get through it. Could you access a support. Person via your 1: GP

2. Salvation Army

3. Local church?

4 community centre ? 

What do you think ?