@chookmojo what a powerful (and vulnerable) question! I think it is difficult. I think that true connection comes from sharing a part of yourself (the act of being vulnerable) with another and them sharing something back.
But, I think that it is also important to feel safe in whatever you're doing. If something feels invasive then it is going to be hard to feel safe.
I am interested in what others ideas are? How do you maintain safety while also allowing yourself to be vulnerable?