@Glisten yes, I call it gallows humour.

I know I have childhood trauma, with my dad leaving us and returning to WA from Canberra. I didn't hear from him between the ages of 5 and 12, then he came back and tried to be a partial dad.

I've always known that my brother was mums' favourite child despite him being an absolute horror. She's often been very critical of me but I have never heard her criticise my bro.

Growing up in his shadow was pretty awful, plus the feelings of rejection. My maternal grandfather is the only male that has been in my life who didn't reject me.

I took ages to trust anyone and slowly opened up to ex friend, lost all of my friends bar 1 and am still recovering.

All I can say is that I am thankful for you and everyone else here on Sane. I have never felt rejected here and I still struggle with that.

Anyway enough of my rambling. You can tell I don't have any friends with the way I go on can't ya?! Lol!