@tyme I keep people at a sizeable distance too - after my previous friendship group broke down, I decided to only keep a handful of people in my life who I "felt safe" with (mostly family and friends who I knew were positive influences in my life).

The rest I keep at arms length - and also like you, I think it's part and parcel of my BPD.

Cause I don't want to get to know someone, feel safe with them and open up to them, only to get burnt once again and worry about what that will do to my mental state.

@TheRenegade345 I have to apologise for my previous post - I reread it and I'm like "gosh I sound so preachy". 

I 100% get where you're coming from with toxic positivity and how person after person using the "if you can't love yourself etc etc" rhetoric can be gaslighting and irritating, especially when you've done the work and are in a better healthier space. 

I too can't get past the first date and at some point you just get jaded and don't even want to bother anymore. 

I also get your frustration about doing the work and feeling like you've got nothing to show for it.

I compare myself to another friend who has MI but often neglects it, but never seems to be short on romantic partners and I'm just like... really?!

Sorry to hear about your friend too. I find because I'm not in relationships, friend breakups are equal to if not worse than romantic breakups.