Hi @Jacky9,

Welcome to the Forum, and thank you very much for sharing.

I am very sorry that you've had this experience, I can sense how distressing this must be for you.

I can relate to some of what you've had to deal with in your childhood, and I understand how much this affects our development. I also left uni at age 20 after having a really hard time with my mental health. It can be such a difficult time with all of that outside pressure on us.

You have a really good sense of self awareness, which is something not all of us are gifted with and is an absolute strength. I hope that you can see that there is so much more to who you are as a person — you are brave and resilient and have showed courage in reaching out on the Forum here today.

And I am sorry to see that you are feeling like there is little to be hopeful for right now, but I do promise you that it does get better…

As mentioned previously by @MJG017 — having the right supports in place can be really beneficial to our healing and recovery.

If you do feel like you need to speak to someone, the following support services are available:

Lifeline 13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/

Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support 

SANE Support Line 1800 187 263 (available 10am - 8pm Monday to Friday)
https://www.sane.org/get-support 

As @tacocat said, you'll always have friends here. Hope to hear back from you soon, take care.