I am so overwhelmed with everything I'm learning. About my partner, his mental illness and about myself. It's very tiring & emotionally draining. Unfortunately part of his symptoms include latching on obsessively. You mentioned that she can be very nasty. He is the same. He is often very cruel to me. When it's frequent, he manages to destroy me for a while. He personally attacks my weaknesses to intentionally hurt me. His fear of abandonment actually causes him to push me away so that at least he feels if he breaks me, then he's in control. Then he realises that he misses me & feels he needs me, so the cycle continues. It's exhausting. I'm trying to run a business and care for my daughter, but he craves all of my energy & attention. One day he's perfect, the next day, he's the worst. Between him & my ex husband, I've spent the last 14 years of my life being serially cheated on, emotionally abused, verbally abused & physically abused. It's so easy for others to say walk away. But when you feel so invaluable, it's hard to think positive. When I left him for a year, he nearly destroyed himself. For all his faults, I still love him. I feel responsible for him. And I keep thinking, at least he isnt unfaithful like my ex husband always was. I keep thinking of my daughter & i know that i should be a better role model for her. I left her dad so that I could prove to her that women are worth more than that. And now I'm just contradicting everything I've tried to teach her. I guess I only whinged & didnt provide any practical advice for you. I hope that you manage to find yourself and keep a strong hold because if you're not ok, then you'll lose your ability to help your loved one.