Lived Experience Forum

[Appleblossom]

Hey @EternalFlower 

Will try salmon in the oven now. Thx for tip!

I have a strong independent side and an extremely vulnerable side.  Yep can ricochet between the two. Molto delicato atm.

Hearing you about family celebration periods.  This is one of my tricky periods including a host of birthdays and of Christian triggers and consolations.  Difficulties arise when one is supposed to feel certain things for certain reasons.  In the end, we are what we are.

Gentleigh Bentleigh ...

[EternalFlower]

Tonys @tonys hope ur doing well this fine sunday...thank u for the tree of hope.

Recipe https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1018972-slow-roasted-citrus-salmon-with-herb-salad

It looks so fancy and i make it a few nights a week x

[tonys]

@EternalFlower   Hey there mate.    What's cookin. .      So I have that now fixed in my head

And next yellow belly or silver perch I   land..   Its getting the 140 olive oil oven treatment. How has your day been  Eternal.  Visitors I hope.   I know you have to be in the right frame  of mind

but Its never to late for a Tafe coarse.  If you have an interest in cooking ,   that can take you around the world mate.

I landed a job at Koala beaches resort many years ago,  running a kitchen in Cairns, and I'm the most disorganised person in the galaxy.   They were desperate.  Just a thought.

So it sounds like you have to rethink things next week.

I guess it always comes down to the wire in the final hour.  Thoughts are with you my friend.

I'm still replying to last night posts.   Beshert.  did I spell that right.   I loved all that dancing

that green pea posted.  in fact it blew me away.

Theres a horse head looking into the kitchen window,  and book keeper is give me the rev

So better go feed all those teeth and tally up the pick.  Tell you what.  Some of these pickers

earn more than me,  Sunday rates.  

Take care Eternal flower.   Talk soon.                                tonys          moonbase 1

M and Ms for a snack  ?

[tonys]

OH. . . @EternalFlower    Just logged of and saw your new post.   OK. .   I will get into the link latter and thankyou my friend.   Wishing you a whole forest of hope my dear friend. . .

tonys    moonbase 1

[EternalFlower]

@tonys ur reply got right to the heart of everything. I feel seen. I do get treats when im low and pretend im at the cinemas eating popcorn or m and ms. Just need a jumbo coca cola...

I hope u are doing ok and keeping the fire alive...how was ur date ? Ur book keeper sounds busy and helpful...

I had a few calls today from loved ones. Very touching.

Health comes first said my friend..

I think i spelled it wrong...Bashert...i like the idea. I find myself these days able to be in a dark place but to see how it all somehow worked out to protect me.

I think when I was in hospital last things were horrible but i looked around and thought...something important here for me to dig up. Some truths...

I met a woman in hospital who knew my dr as well and we had a joke about how he always talks about star wars.

Unfortunately she hsd seen star wars so he talked ro her for days about it...years and eternities. He sees the parallels of the universe and life lessons in thst series lol. Sitting with you by the fire.

[tonys]

Hey there @EternalFlower    Star wars hey. . .   well we are all grasping at anything that looks like an escape when days ,  weeks  months,   years.  .  .   the  clouds all look the same.

Book keeper says I live half my life in fantasy land. .   I say  . .  I  have a lot more laugh lines

than most people In this town.

Thats why  books and movies work so well.    Its the Image we chose to accept that moves us

and It can be as real or last as long as we want.

Every night I look at a clock next on the wall next to my bed.  Clock hasn't worked for years.

Doesn't matter.  Its my visual que to remember my dreams when I see the clock first thing In the morning.  

I always re explore my dreams upon awakening.

I think about how all the emotions and how very real that dream felt..

And then there is the,  other me,   that can dream while wide awake and in those dreams endure anything that life throws at me.     WE  can choose how to interpret  the image of the real world,   and morph it into a workable image. . . . . 

How ever crazzy a dream or idea feels,  explore it,   It may be an escape to a whole new 

world.      Comfort eating.      welcome to the 21 century.    I pick up my guitar or type on 

this old laptop just to keep my hands and mind busy and out of the cookie jar.

Bashert .  .  .  .   Its going on the fridge and some other words are coming off

Bashert . . .   could be a whole new philosophy in this home

Dance   went well.   It was a sawdust on the floor barn dance so my thong and sock plan failed.     My   dance partner was vision impaired so I had her out to the farm today

to put her hands on the animals and feel their warm breath and cuddles and fur.

She cried with happiness,   which of coarse got me mopping hidden tears.

A  damn good day,     

Well   Eternal flower ,  my very dear friend.   I,ll take a spare rod tonight ,   Just in case you need to borrow   uncle tonys 

Big  big   hug to you                  tonys     moonbase 1

[LeChuck]

@EternalFlower star wars hey? Atleast now you know how to get more time with your doctor haha 

Sending hugs xxx

[EternalFlower]

@Appleblossom ur very intuitive....i share religious trauma and am starting to unpack it.

Telling myself, just because it happened in the past at this time doesnt mean it will reoccur.

How was the salmon? 

Xx

[Appleblossom]

Hugs @EternalFlower Gently walking with you through difficult times.

Glad your loved ones made the effort to call.  Not sure of all the details but I feel your aloneness may not be a testimony to their lovingness.  Though I do not want to judge or presume.

Re all the addictive stuff and substances etc etc ... My main addiction at the moment is something we are not to talk about too much on forum but probably ... all that oral fixation etc etc... plus biting my nails ... still I appreciate quality food as nurturing ... of self or other. I see addictiveness ... as more about behaviour than only substances.

re: the resurgence of interest in psychedelics. a lot depends on the individual, but I am more open minded than most.  Essentially I have witnessed in my family including extended family, a lot of divided opinions about which bit of addictive behaviour means good person and which bit is not good.  Short summary of a lot of issues again.  Sorry, but trying to find the line between general communication and dotting my 'i's and crossing 't's ...

Hey @LeChuck 

@tonys in charge of a kitchen! ... you been a lot of places man!

[Appleblossom]

Just saw your question @EternalFlower lol

Not bought it yet.  Last week I pan fried some.  Its on the list ...

For most of my life things have seemed too complicated for me to be intuitive, but I think the last 10 years have been relatively settled and I have developed my intuition.  

Religious trauma is huge, but not wanting to throw the baby out with the bath water ... I try and find balance and the good in it ... and be careful ....