Lived Experience Forum

[Chloe7]

Hi everyone 

Ive just joined here. 

I have C-PTSD and enough markers to treat as though I have BPD which is why Im here. 

Although ive had PTSD pretty much my whole life , at 50+ im just learning that it is a mental health condition and what that means. Im particularly i interested to learn about BPD and how that affects me and my relationships.  

I look forward to connecting and learning from You All.

Thanks for having me

[tyme]

Hey there @Chloe7 ,

I have BPD. I'm in a much better place now though.

I started showing signs of BPD when I was about 17. It took a few years to get a diagnosis - not that I was looking for one. I didn't even know there was a name to what I was experiencing!

At about 22, I got the diagnosis, but was left hanging as no one really knew what to do. 

For over a decade, I was on bipolar meds (because a psych thought I had bipolar). The meds didn't change anything (maybe because I didn't actually have bipolar???!). During these 10 years, my life was so rocky. I blew up at the slightest thing. I didn't want to be around people anymore because I felt I left behind a trail of destruction. I clung onto a certain person and pretty much sucked life from them. 

I was then accepted into a BPD and Trauma service in Melb for mentalisation based therapy. It was hard hard work. But now, looking back, I have changed so much because of the therapy. It has taught me so much. 

Today, I don't struggle like I used to. From hating life, I absolutely love it now. I can't believe 18 months of intense targeted therapy can do so much for me.... seriously? a miracle I never thought possible.

I've learnt to embrace my BPD. I've learnt to manage it. I've learnt to love it. 

There is hope @Chloe7  🙂 

I'd be more than happy to answer any BPD/trauma related questions you have.

[Flotsam]

@Chloe7 

I too got a cPTSD diagnosis over 50, a lot of bpd symptoms are trauma responses. Someone tried to label me with that, but I only have a few friendships they are very long term. 

The more I learned about cPTSD the more I realised it pretty much explains everything about me, I am doing parts work and unburdening a lot of my younger parts. I suggest Pete Walkers book Complex PTSD, I got it on audible as I can’t concentrate to read just now. No bad parts by R Schwartz is also good if you are looking for information. Blue knot foundation is also worth a look. They have psychologists you can call and they really understand complex trauma. 

[Patches59]

@Flotsam  @tyme  I’m 50+ and was diagnosed with CPTSD very recently, I have some BPD symptoms.  Within myself for decades I’ve known things are not right, have sought help over the time and finally started to get some help this year.  The little I’ve learnt about CPTSD it all makes sense when I think back over my life during the decades.

@Flotsam  I find I can’t concentrate on reading anymore plus struggle with comprehension at times. I never thought about getting audible books, thanks for that suggestion

welcome to the forums @Chloe7  the forums are a great place to chat, even if people don’t have same MH condition as each other.  As @Flotsam  mentioned, Blue Knot counsellors assist with issues relating to complex trauma, I have personally found them very helpful, understanding and empathetic

[Chloe7]

Thankyou so much U appreciate y o ur connecting 

So I heard that BPD is similar to bi polar which is a.chemical  imbalance although BPD is pretty  much C-PTSD both of which are caused by trauma. Is that your perception?

[Chloe7]

Thank you i Will check those out.

[Chloe7]

Thanks,

I have started with a Halifax psychologist and will be starting DBT this week i think.  

I can't concentrate  either.  Both my sister got diagnosed with ADHD as adults butt didn't have my trauma. 

Im looking forward to getting well.