Lived Experience Forum

[LiamD]

Became estranged from my family in late 40s and it's so difficult. I can't believe it took me so long but I can't believe it matters so much despite costing so little. I'm too old to be thinking and talking to myself about things that happened decades ago. Started ruminating after they called me. Just gone down hill.

[Jynx]

@LiamD I'm sorry to hear you are going downhill tonight. Can be really hard to be reminding of our pains from the past. What sort of support do you think would be helpful for you right now? 

[LiamD]

I was just imagining someone might have been through it or going through it and might chat. I've got plenty of support just not people familiar with the experience. Thanks for asking.

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @LiamD 

I've had family estrangement. 

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@LiamD wrote:

I'm too old to be thinking and talking to myself about things that happened decades ago.

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I know that for me, what helped heal me was years of therapy with a psychologist, where I could talk through my family abuse - childhood abuse (actually lifelong abuse). This has helped me move on. If you suppress it and don't talk about it, it pops up in other ways, like in unexplained /inappropriate anger or in the body (ill health). 

A handy forum tip is if you tag someone by typing @ and then clicking on their name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

[Oaktree]

@LiamD 

I am estranged from most of my birth family. It wasn’t my choice and it still hurts 15 years later. You can’t change the past, just keep moving forward and get therapy if you feel you need it. It doesn’t matter how many decades have passed if you’re still feeling the emotional impact.

Meggle