Recurring doubts and fear

[JM028]

I want to avoid the bitterness, but I'm torn between leaving it behind or staying and hoping to change it.
I enjoy many books, but specifically the Game of Thrones series, or any story which involves deep twists or keep the reader in constant wonderment is what I enjoy.
I play guitar and flute, I find it calling to just play whatever comes to mind.
Thank you all for your comments, it really is pretty incredible to dicuss my thoughts with no fear of embarassment or cyncism

[CherryBomb]

Hi everyone,

@JM028 when I read over your posts I couldn't help but sense that there was theme of needing to live up to expectations or to perform, whether it be at uni, in relationships, how you intereact with others and so on. It seems like there is a lot of worry, distress and guilt about not getting things right. What are your thoughts about this?

I wonder if you are doing things for you? I mean truely for you. You sound like you are very compassionate towards others, but as you mentioned it's hard to receive compassion for yourself. It make me wonder how are you looking after you. I often think that when we care for others, we can forget to check in with ourselves. Sometimes getting into the core of our emotions can be helpful. By this I mean  looking at what (situations, thoughts) makes them arise. 

CB

[JM028]

I think I have started realising that I really don't do things for me, especially if it comes at even the slightest expense in another's emotions. I just find it so hard to take when I even slightly negatively affect someone's emotions because I wanted to look after myself

[Appleblossom]

One way I am learning ... very late in life is to use humour to make a bit of space in relationships .. caring energy can be precious and is good for many situations but sometimes we also need the energy of laughter or banter ... it takes knowledge of the other person tho ... I work with my own demons..images etc ... so it strengthens my internal sense of self and if the other laughs ... we have established a good boundary that is robust and not too precious ....

Does that make some sense?