Procrastination and stress

[creative_writer]

I feel anxious yet I don’t know why. My mind is scattered and I have this sinking feeling of dread. I’m not sure what’s wrong. I’ve reached out to SANE which helped a bit, but the anxiety is building up again

[Ru-bee]

Hey @creative_writer I'm here with you. Good on you for reaching out already, is there anything else that usually helps when you start to feel anxious? 

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee I just do regular self care things like breathing JH exercises, prayer, distraction, music, reading. I’m just finding it hard to shake off the anxiety. I feel burning inside my stomach.

[Ru-bee]

Yeah I hear you, @creative_writer  I do similar things and sometimes a couple minutes of deep breathing works like a charm, other times it's way harder to shake. Sometimes I find it helps to try to observe my anxiety, sort of trying to step back from it a little bit and acknowledge the thoughts and the feelings without being caught up in them. They're still there but they don't feel as powerful, if that makes sense? I don't know if that's something that could help here, again, sometimes it works better than others, sometimes I just need to wrap myself in a blanket and ride it out

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee my brain does sometimes go on hyperdrive. I’m trying to reduce stimulation, my nervous system has been very overstimulated. Being sick doesn’t help and the goop coming from my eye is uncomfortable.

So I’ve been trying to change the inner narrative in my brain. Need to move from the “damaged goods, disgusting and unworthy” to “survivor, worthy and resilient”

[Ru-bee]

Yes, absolutely @creative_writer it can be really difficult to shift that inner narrative, but boy it makes such a different when we do. You are all of those things (survivor, worthy, resilient) and I hope that you're able to keep telling yourself that whenever those other thoughts creep in.

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee the reprocessing has been hard. I’ve tried so hard for so long to fit in that mould of society. The constant masking is very exhausting. I’m just trying to learn to be okay with being more vulnerable and quirky. I’ve felt so insecure for so long for being different. I was a shy kid who was considered “weird”

[rav3n]

hey @creative_writer how's your week going 😊

[creative_writer]

Hey @rav3n, overall today has been better. Went into a bit of a hyper focus state which helped with getting uni stuff done. I did have my SANE counselling appointment today, we did touch upon heavy stuff so I’m really exhausted now. I guess it’s natural for therapy to bring up heavy emotions 😢

My eye is also getting on my nerves rn, I got an eyes infection after stimming, I have a bad habit of touching my face. I am going to the doctor tomorrow, I’m hoping the excessive goop disappears soon. My viral infection symptoms (from the weekend) have settled at least. No longer feeling my face burning anymore.

I hope today has been kind to you 💖

[rav3n]

oo love a good hyper focus state when there's work to be done!! @creative_writer 

ahh yep, definitely normal to feel exhausted after talking about such heavy stuff, do you a post-therapy activity that you usually do? i literally keep 2-3 hours after therapy free just to re-energise sometimes. 

yikes! is this the same eye infection from last week that's gotten worse? glad the viral infection's gone down, hopefully tomorrow's doc visit helps with the eye!!

i went to specsavers to retrieve my glasses, went to the toilet where i hooked the specsavers bag behind the toiler door. forgot about the bag and went to get food. when i was ready to leave, i suddenly remembered and rushed back to the toilets but it was gone. went to the customer service centre and THANK goodness someone had given it to them... they were $400+ worth glasses so i was so sure someone had stolen it (although it would be useless on them since it was prescription glasses). this lowkey restored my faith in humanity haha, so i'd say today was kind to me. hope it's kind to you too 💗