Procrastination and stress

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I do actually have them written down. It is still hard to focus, but I can do as much as I can.

It’s a good thing cats don’t know how to use cards, or it will be very concerning for the wallet, particular for the really smart cats. My sister said she wants a cat who is on the dumb side, the really smart ones tend to judge you. I think we do need to change the flooring and clean up all the house before getting a cat

[Jynx]

@creative_writer very fair - another idea, maybe not for right now as it might require some prep but, you could always record yourself (or someone else) reading the prayers aloud. Then in moments like this, you just need to go back and listen. Food for thought! And also, if you're at all like me and feel all ooky inside whenever you hear your own voice in a recording, feel free to disregard 😅

I was surprised by how little impact my kitties have had on my carpet and furniture... Are you worried the claws would ruin the floors?

Also if your sister wants a dumb dumb, y'all gotta get an orange cat. My partner has one, and the joke that 'all orange cats share a single brain cell, which they take turns using', is an apt one 🤣

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I do have recordings (but not of myself). I can listen to those. I’m just trying to be okay with my lack of productivity today. I do feel guilty, but it’s hard to get much done when one is really distressed. I do feel guilty for feeling this way. I felt guilty for having suicidal thoughts earlier today. I know we shouldn’t make comparisons, but some people are suffering at the hands of oppressors in third world countries. I’m safe here in Australia, and feeling distressed.

It’s just easier to clean non carpet flooring. We actually haven’t had our flooring changed for a long time and were thinking of something more allergy friendly and easier to clean. I think there may be parts of our house that need deep cleansing, like windows. I wouldn’t want my cat sniffing in mold. We have an orange cat that comes into our front and backyard. He pretends to be innocent but isn’t. But he is not the most cunning cat, but is far from being dumb

[Jynx]

@creative_writer there is always gonna be folks who have it better than us and folks who have it worse than us. Do you reckon those people suffering under oppressive regimes would be glad to know their plight made you feel guilty? And as well as that, to my mind guilt is a teacher right, it helps us to see how our behaviours may not align with our values; it teaches us to not continue to behave that way. Do you think there is a helpful lesson this particular batch of guilt is teaching you, or is it actually just internalised shame borne of our toxic hustle culture, wearing a guilt-shaped disguise?

This is all conjecture based on my own assumptive analysis of your mental state and I am happy to be corrected if I'm not on the right track here!!

Haha aww what a cutie! Have you nicknamed this ginger visitor?

Mm see trade off for not having carpet is that you get cold tootsies in the winter... buuuuut I'll admit, not having to scrape cat hair out of the carpet might be nice.... lol

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I think we are often shamed for struggling with our mental health when we have a roof over our head and dinner on our plate. I guess it’s society’s way of convincing us our pain is less valid, because it could be worse. I suppose it would be better too.

He looks like a potato 🤣, so let’s call him potato. He is actually a bit rude, he did after all pee in front of the door. My mind pictures him going to a cat club and dancing, I don’t even know why 🤣

[Jynx]

@creative_writer brilliant mental image!! Now I just want a cat club to exist.... sigh. Guess cat cafe will have to do!!

I am off darlin, lovely chatting as always, take care of your wonderful self and I'll catch you next time 😊

[creative_writer]

@Jynx not sure if you've seen this video, the potato cat that visits us reminds me of this cat going to the cat club: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/tY4FtT2whtc 🤣. Potato came today and drank some water, my mum left a bowl of water outside, the cats and birds come and drink it. 

Things are a bit better today, still have a bit agitation but I think taking PRN for a few days has helped. Didn't get as much uni work done, but got some done, managed a shower and put some laundry in the washing machine.

I'm scared about what will happen if I stop taking the PRN. I have my pdoc appointment this afternoon. 

I hope today is going smoothly for you 💖

[Jynx]

Oh my lawd @creative_writer I LOVE CAT CLUB hahaha it's so EXCLUSIVE behind the cat flap and everything!! Brilliant! 😹

Does Potato ever try to pounce the brids?!

I'm glad taking the PRN has helped! I can hear that it has also brought on a bit of distress about the concern of becoming reliant. I think chatting to pdoc is a good idea, feel free to let me know how it goes? At the end of the day, the whole point is to take it as needed and it's not like you're like... smashing it up n snorting it at a night club! Just sounds more like your need for the stability and calmness the PRN can provide has increased a bit of late, that's all.

[creative_writer]

@JynxI had my pdoc appointment, I think I was a little all over the place, but my mind is scattered. He reckons I should just take the extra dose and gave me a bigger dose so I don’t have to eat four tablets of it in the evening. I reckon bipolar plus ADHD is even harder together when trying to concentrate 

I haven’t seen potato eat a bird. We do get this other cat visitor who we named Megan or Cunning (in my native language). She once had a bird in her mouth, my mum was angry. The problem with Megan is, she doesn’t get scared and even hissed back at my mum when my mum told Megan and potato off for fighting

[Jynx]

@creative_writer IT GOT BETTER!! THE ADVENTURES OF MEGAN AND POTATO!! Hahaha love it!

'Cunning' is cool af, do you mind my asking what it would be in your native language? Wait what is your native language if you don't mind my asking?

How are you feeling about the increase, is it more approachable to take your prn now with the doc giving you the green light to up the dose a smidge?