SANE Forums

[NotInsane]

Hello everyone

Im having a lot of problems with my family lately ... always making out im a bad person, spreading rumours about me but I havent done anything to them ... its making me really depressed and don't really have anyone I can talk to ... I tried a some other websites but people seem so fake ...

Sorry if I'm not making much sense its hard to talk about ...

[Ru-bee]

Hi @NotInsane and welcome to the forums

It's understandable that this is hard to talk about, it sounds like it's been a pretty isolating situation to be in. I'm really glad that you've been able to share some of what's going on here, and I hope that this can be a safe space for you to talk and connect with our community

[MJG017]

Welcome to the forum @NotInsane.  I know it's so hard when you don't have the support from family.  While I didn't have to put up with spreading rumours about me, I know just how isolating it is to not have that family support behind you especially during difficult times.  It took my 53 years to learn to reach out and ask for help with stuff so I can say from personal experience it doesn't help in the long run (or even the short run probably) to not talk to anyone about what's going on with ourselves.  So I think it's a great first step to reach out here and get some thoughts from other people.  We're all happy to listen and offer any support we can. 

Is there anyone you can reach out to like a close friend or a family member that you do trust?  Have you tried talking to your family about how they're making you feel?  Sometimes there can just be big misunderstandings.  I'm not saying this is the case for you, just that it may be helped by talking to them.  Like I said, I'm not saying you're wrong, i'm just throwing some thoughts out there.

I can certainly understand why you're feeling depressed and don't be concerned at all if you feel like you're not make any sense.  You are, but I think it feels like that for most of us when we first try to reach out.  So please feel free to share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with and know there's people here that will do their best to listen and help however they can.

[NotInsane]

Thank you so much

I find it really hard to connect with ppl ... do you know what I mean? like its really hard to know if its safe or something and its also really hard thing to talk about ... and i get the feeling ppl are can be so fake sometimes and it makes it really hard

[NotInsane]

Hi @MJG017 thank you for the kind words ...

ofc I tried talking to them but they just dont care no one wants to talk to me and all my friends know them so they probly telling everyone Im a horrible person or something and not to talk to me like if I done something wrong you should just tell me so I can fix it instead of just trying to make me misrable?  they just say stop hassling us go to a shrink ... I mean why should I go to a shrink just bc they dont like me?  I even said I dont understand can you explain and they just say no go to a shrink to figure out your head out and then they laugh at me and call me a r**t**rd and say they will call the cops and put me in a mental hospital ...

sorry for grammar this is really stressing me ...

[NotInsane]

They called the cops before when they made me really upset but the cops took ages and i calmed down and said Im sorry and the cops were like if he didnt make any threats we cant do anything ... can they put me in a mental hospital just bc they are trying to make me upset?

[Lostsoul30]

@NotInsane Hi welcome.. glad you've reached out and told your story as I've been in this situation and still am at times.. 

It's hard to see the people you call family, your own blood treat you this way.. makes you feel less trusting with anyone.. I just wanted to make it known.. you are definitely not alone and I'm definitely not fake.. so please know I'm here okay 😊 keep your head up! 

[NotInsane]

Thank you yes its really hard i dont know what to do ... what did you do in your situation? Do you have any suggestion? I really dont know what i can do im freaking out bc I have noone else will it always be like this? Why cant ppl do the right thing and just act normal?

[MJG017]

@NotInsaneIt sounds like such a horrible situation to be in.  It must be so difficult to be treated like family in this way.  I started seeing a psychologist a little under a year ago, not because I thought there was anything wrong with me, but because I just needed someone to talk to about my personal issues and I didn't really have anyone else to talk to about it.  I just found it helpful to talk to someone and just telling someone out loud helped.

Now I'm not saying you should, or need, to see a psychologist and i'm definitely not saying there's anything wrong with you.  Just that, like me, you might find it helpful just to talk to someone independent who isn't going to judge you, just listen and offer some thoughts.  It definitely doesn't sound like you'll get that from your family, and personally, I wouldn't really listen or care what anyone said once they started laughing a me and calling me names like they called you.

It doesn't have to be a psychologist either, it could just be some kind of counselor or support worker or even one of those helplines.  I don't know how old you are, but if you're under 26, then something like Kid's Helpline may be suitable for you.  It's a bit of an odd name since it is for young adults as well.  So continue to reach out and try to find that support you deserve where ever you feel comfortable, whether that's here or one of the other suggestions.  You're definitely not alone.

[SmilingGecko]

Hello @NotInsane I had serious difficulty with my family of origin. If I can say something to you it would be this: just don't entrust your personal life with them and keep on guard at all times. Many families of the MI (not all) can be very cruel. My brother is my only living relative left and he is volatile. I still leave phone messages for him but keep a safe distance. I love my brother still but there is no workable compromise.

Just keep your own counsel and enlist a therapist who can support you in your process. My advice is to put up safe barriers to protect yourself and don't think or expect they are ever going to change.  I think the environment around the MI patient really needs to be examined not so much the person themselves because its the environment that creates the mental turbulence in the first place.

You will be ok. It should not be you handing the olive branch and coming from a point of reason while other people aren't prepared to act even with simple human decency. Have a plan, stay fair in your dealings but just put up boundaries to protect yourself in future. Looking back on my life if I had of done this earlier on in the piece it would have saved me lots of grief.

Anyway you need to assess for yourself what makes sense to you in terms of how to act. MI is a long journey so it pays to keep out people who intend to cause you harm.