My special place

[Snowie]

I can't see any recovery at the moment @tyme It's more like trying to 'hang on' until my psych is back. Even then she has cut back her hours.

Is opening up really a good thing when I have no one around.

The thoughts have just come to the forefront now.

[Snowie]

It doesn't matter

[tyme]

Of course it matters @Snowie . It matters and you matter. 

I read you don't see recovery... 

At the moment, it feels like it's just survival... even if it's not making the day, it's about making it through - moment by moment. 

Sitting with you. I hear it is so so hard.

[Sans911]

You matter so much @Snowie. Sitting here with you hun.

[Snowie]

Mental Health Care system is f**ked. Actually the whole government is.

Looking for a psych for mum. One place would still cost $140 even with a mental health care plan.

Find a psych that bulk bills, find one near you, find one at all. Not likely. Can't afford to get help on a pension.

Had appt. today. Official diagnosis is Alzheimer's/Dementia. No sh*t, already knew that.

So what can they do to help? Nothing, haven't got the government funding. 

Look into my aged care they said. Already have, limited support there too. No support groups with a 40km radius of us. 

Called nurse on call last night. Not sorry

Emailed two psych's last night, no reply yet. Probably won't take on new clients anyway.

Went to email my psych. What's the point, won't get a reply.

Want to get sick so I don't have to go Sat night.

[Jynx]

Oh my lawwwd @Snowie the rage is REAL. You poor dear, as if you needed the stress. 

I may have missed something, what's on Saturday night for you? 

[Snowie]

I have my SIL's surprise 50th B'day Party Say night @Jynx I don't want to deal with people.

Not sure if it's rage or just despair.

Just want to concede defeat.

[Jynx]

@Snowie oof, sounds like nightmare fuel. Maybe it would be rage if you had the energy, but it's too much and so despair is what's left. Maybe the rage was just my own, at reading of your umpteenth experience of getting mucked about. 

Would there be any repurcussions if you faked a sickie you reckon? And if you do have to push yourself to go, will there be folks there that aren't super draining to spend time with? 

[Snowie]

@Jynx I just give up, no one can answer my questions. They just palm it off to someone else, then them to someone else, etc. 

There are a lot of unknowns. Haven't been to the place before, don't know who else is going, how many will be there. I hate surprises and this isn't even mine!

I'm just beyond caring. I can't keep doing this

Going to go crawl into a hole, the thoughts won't stop

Thanks anyway, take care

[tyme]

Oh @Snowie ,

It's sounds so hard to have to sit with these thoughts on your own.

We're here if you need a chat - or a distraction