My Mosaic

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Bow what's happening for you? Do you want to talk about it?

Here with you ❤️

[Bow]

@Ru-bee  I had a visit with my SW this morning and I’m just really frustrated with how it went. I hadn’t seen her in over a week and haven’t had a home visit for weeks- just how my supports have turned out. Which means that I haven’t had the opportunity to have a decent conversation with her. And so much has been happening that I was really hanging out for this visit. 
She was really distracted by the kittens. (Hadn’t seen them for ages, they had grown heaps, she’s a cat person and the kittens leave Thursday). We talked a bit about house hunting and then she needed to leave. 
I am so angry and frustrated with myself that I am not able to assert what my needs are. That I don’t want to talk kittens for ages and her cats. Urgh. I’m so useless. I just waste her time. 

[Ru-bee]

I can hear how frustrating and disappointing that is @Bow I'm really sorry that it didn't turn out the way you were needing it to. 

I have real trouble speaking up for my own needs too sometimes due to shyness, social anxiety and needing to people please, and I know how upset I get with myself during those times... So while I want to say that of course you're not useless (you're definitely not) and that I very much doubt that your SW would feel that their time was wasted, I get that it really feels that way right now.

When do you see your SW next?

[Bow]

I’m not sure when I will see her next @Ru-bee  she might be in the office tomorrow when I’m there for arts and craft group. Otherwise I will speak with her on the phone for the rest of the week. 

[Ru-bee]

Could any of these be opportunities for you to talk to your SW about today and how you were feeling afterwards @Bow? 

[Bow]

They could @Ru-bee  but it won’t happen cause I’ll continue to be a useless failure just can’t do anything right. Don’t even know why I bother anymore. Nothing is ever going to change 

[Ru-bee]

Sounds like you're really beating yourself up over this, hey @Bow? 

It's okay to feel a bit crap and disappointed when we've have days like you have, and I'm glad you're able to express your frustrations here, but I wonder if you're able to extend yourself some gentleness? How would you talk to a friend feeling what you're feeling at the moment? 

You are deserving of gentleness and of support, even if it might not feel like it right now

[Bow]

No kind no gentle for bow @Ru-bee  she not deserve it she never do things good never do things right always mess things up she’s bad bad bad

[Ru-bee]

We must be talking about two different Bows @Bow (though I can't imagine anyone not deserving of gentleness) The Bow I know is wonderful and strong and caring

I'm really sorry you had a crummy day today, I hope that tomorrow is better. I'm about to head off for the evening but I hope you can find some kindness for my friend Bow ❤️

[Bow]

No no no

nevermind

my friend @Jynx  is you here tonite ?