My Mosaic

[tyme]

Hey @Bow ,

We all have those times when we are vulnerable. You have not done anything wrong. What happens this time is not what happens everytime, right? Please don't allow this time to stop yourself from reaching out in the future.

I know you've often said how helpful your SW has been. 

I hope you find some space to be kind to yourself because you deserve it.

You matter to us.

[Bow]

Sometimes it’s just all too much @tyme 

im sorry

[tyme]

Please don't feel sorry @Bow 

We know this place exists. It's not the first time and it's not the last time. We are here for you.

Tell yourself you matter. Tell yourself you're loved.

We care.

[Bow]

Got out of bed this morning and felt rather unwell, queasy and faint. Had to lay back down for a bit. Think I got up way too quick. 

My appointment with my CM got cancelled cause she’s not in today. The person that called to cancel couldn’t even get my name right. 

My SW sent me a text asking me how I am and to let her know how the above appointment goes. 
I replied, ‘it got cancelled as she’s not in’. 
SW replied ‘oh no’. 

I’ve just been on the treadmill downstairs. Mum comes down and starts sorting and trying to tidy. Like do you need to do this right? You’ve had all week. 
It’s made me even more irritable and on edge and I just want the day to be over already. 😩😩😩😩🤬🥺🤯😡

[rav3n]

morning @Bow, sucks to hear that CM got cancelled today. i know you mentioned lately how you wanted your team to show more care, and it sounds like the message from SW wasn't meeting what you'd hoped for, hey. 

it's so frustrating when you're already having a bad day and then those extra lil things pile on! are all mums like this? my mum also starts cleaning stuff right when i'm in a rough mood. hope you're able to take a few deep breaths, and do something kind for yourself? 

[Bow]

I’m beyond frustrated and I just don’t care no more I give up

[rav3n]

@Bow do you mind clarifying what you mean by "give up" - is it give up with asking for support from SW/CM?

you have every right to be frustrated, i'm even frustrated for you as well. how can the forums community support you today, what would be helpful?

[Bow]

So my SW messaged me this afternoon asking if I felt up to a home visit. I said I guess so. 

She came stayed nearly an hour and did not once mention the text or how I am feeling. She didn’t even ask. What the hell was the point of her coming??? What the hell is the point of me even talking with her??   She basically completely ignored… disregarded what I told her yesterday. 

she just sat there and yacked at me

im so f’ing angry. 

she knows how hard it is for me to talk sometimes and bring really hard things up.,.. Urgh fuc€ it I can’t even be bothered here anymore. I’m over it. Over trying. 

[tyme]

Hugs @Bow . I can see how angry you are at the moment. As I said, I know how much you worked up the courage to reach out in the first place.

Just to be the devil's advocate: DId she acknowledge she recieved the message? 

Only because I remember a time I emailed my psychologist years ago. He never responded and I got so upset. When I confront him, he said he actually didn't receive anything.

I'm hearing you @Bow . You matter.

[Bow]

No, she hasn’t acknowledged it @tyme  but it’s says ‘read’

doesnt matter