My Mosaic

[Bow]

Oh yeah that’s probably not such a good idea eh hon

i currently can not lay in my bed. I have a king size bed and it’s covered in Lego @Snowie  haha need to find somewhere to put it all cause I had to patch up some holes in the walls so don’t wanna put them back until I’ve finished doing that. But also need my bed!

[Snowie]

Certainly made the night easier @Bow!

Oh dear hon, you will need to find a new place for it all.

Have you made the lego that you brought on your holiday yet?

[Bow]

Well my room is back to some kind of organised state @Snowie  just need to wait for the hole patches to dry so I can sand and paint. 

no I haven’t built that one yet. Not sure if I will. Might save it see if it goes up in value cause it’s a park exclusive. I did build the new bamboo botanical set though. It looks cool. 

I dusted my big Disney castles today. That was a big task! Gotta be so careful. Pieces always fall off. I’ve started using a couple of make up brushes. 

I added a lot of extra characters. 

I don’t see the inside of it much cause it’s against the wall. But it’s so detailed inside. All these little hiddy holes with bits and pieces from Disney movies. 

 

[Snowie]

Those castles look amazing @Bow Would have taken some time to build them.

Make up brushes are a great idea to dust them. Small enough to get into the little places. Will have to get the kids to use them on their lego sets.

You really are a jack of all trades. Filling, sanding and painting. Go you!!

[Bow]

I seen my dietician this morning and was finally able to download to someone that got me and understood. 

TW- ED talk. 

Content/trigger warning

it frustrates me that a lot on my support team don’t really understand. I know that a lot of people are gonna say that I was perfectly able to eat and keep my intake up while away and as soon as I get back home I just go back to my old ED ways. Why do you do that? You know you can do it. You’ve proven that to everyone. So won’t do you just continue that way??

it is far far from being that way. And being that easy. And they make me feel like it’s all put on. For one, I was so unwell in the gut and so uncomfortable the last few days while away. One the plane on the way home it didn’t matter what I ate or drank my stomach blew up. I was desperate to get home so I could give my guy a break. And then yes I can keep up my intake and look after myself while I’m away, how else am I going to live life and enjoy things? But every moment I am away there is that constant chatter in my head about the deep seated hatred I have for my body. That never goes away. It’s always there and is so strong. And of course I put weight on while away. 

urgh. 

But my dietitian totally got all that. She understood. 

Then this afternoon I got to see my old SW. she was based in our office today and messaged me this morning. I could tell she was disappointed when we talked about the above stuff. She knew I had skipped my appointment last week with my psychologist and hadn’t yet taken a call with my CM. Told her January is a hard month. She understood. She encouraged to get to my psych appt this week cause it falls on the actual day and it would probably be helpful. She doesn’t want this day…. month to continue to be yuck like it has been. I changed the topic. 
We both shared stories and photos from our holidays- she went overseas before Christmas. Although difficult conversations it was nice to see her. She reminded me that I can always text/ call her. 

crawled into bed when I got home. 

[Jynx]

@Bow added TW for ya 😉

I am really glad that your dietician is so understanding!! Cos yeah, you're so right, soooo many will just look at like, the outward appearances - i.e. 'You have been doing x therefore you're clearly not y' and just completely ignore any and all internal experiences that person might be having. 

I hope bed is nice and cosy 😊 Anything else happening for ya tonight? I LOVE the lil castle details btw, ty for sharing!

[Bow]

Thanks @Jynx 

And yes….. and it’s already hard enough when I don’t ’look Sick’, don’t ’look Like someone with an ED’. 

…. I can already hear everything my CM will say. 

nothing much else on tonight. Just some TV and some cutting out pictures for arts and craft on Wednesday if I get there. Got an idea for a picture, hoping it works out. 

[Jynx]

@Bow omg just had a random idea hear me out.... watch some halloween makeup tutorials for like, gaunt, zombie kinda looks. Whenever you're seeing any professional who doesn't validate your experiences, paint your face to look HELLA sickly. Then no one will be able to tell you you don't 'look' unwell enough to have an ED! 🤣

oooh feel like sharing some deets? You're making a collage?

[Bow]

Haha yes @Jynx  fab idea!

hmm kinda like a collage but like heaps detailed and has pictures and words from a story I like. Not randomly placed stuff, but placed to kinda tell a story. 

i then came across this on Pinterest and I’m gonna give this a go but at home. This is too complicated for arts and craft. Went to the second hand book shop on the weekend and found a book to use. 

[Jynx]

Argh dang it all @Bow been tryna press support button on your post for like 5 min and it just didn't wanna work!! Anyway I SUPPORT THIS QUALITY CONTENT 😂

Ahem yes anywayyyyy ...lol

That is sooooo cool!! Like a collage but a graphic novel!! A graphic collage 😋

Woah that's hectic.... is that carved out of a book?! GNARLY!!