I don’t feel belonged

[Blackcloud]

@tyme @rav3n @Ru-bee so I've just moved in today, and about my roommate, I'd say she's nice. Well, we don't really talk much basically, it's just us asking each other some questions and then we both answer each other's questions and then idk that's pretty much it...? 

So like, you could say we just exist. But yeah I don't think or at least I'm not confident that her and I are eventually gonna become 'friends'. Also, she is an international student and immigrated from another country. so it's even more awkward for me to connect with someone who wasn't even born and raised in Australia, Canada, New Zealand or America. 

When I was telling her about the rent costs in the shared room and the private rooms in the accomodation we're at, she was aware that the private rooms are like around $500+ here, and then she asked me "do you pay your own rent?" at first I was confused as to why or what she even meant by that question, but yeah no. I don't pay my own rent...? but I actually said 'yeah' in response anyway cause.... whatever.? x.x

and then she asked me if I have a job, and then I said "no I'm on Centrelink. I get my income from them." when I told her that, she didn't say anything and she seemed a bit confused with that...? then I asked her if she works as well or if she's on Centrelink, she says no but she's currently in the process of finding a part time job. yeah, ok.

I'm just gonna see how it'll be like within a few days for the both of us as well as within a few weeks and months time. But still, I'm not confident that we're eventually gonna be 'friends' or anything. But that's fine, I don't expect to actually become friends with someone I'm gonna be living with, given that I'm usually not a social person and am not a peoples person. so I usually just don't talk to people really and just mind my own business.

well guess I can't even wait till my OT will be able to eventually help me with my housing application as well as the relevant evidence that I need to gather for that application anyway. 

Also, it's kinda annoying that it seems that I have a few kitchen/dishwash related things that I need to buy myself (like the water jug, a few different soaps of certain brands that my mum usually purchases and uses -- the dishwasher soap (my roommate does have a dishwasher soap near the sink but I dont think im gonna be using that), the powder for the washing machine to wash my clothes

anyway, yeah. uh whatever I guess.

[tyme]

First night jitters @Blackcloud ?

We are sitting with you. 

Maybe your room mate was confused because they don't know what centrelink is? International students don't get access to centrelink or any support. They need to pay everything and usually it's their parents back home that fund things.

I hope it all goes well!

It can be daunting to move out, but it can also be very exciting!

I'm here if you need a chat tonight.

[Blackcloud]

@tyme oh I see. So that explains why

Overall she’s not bad, and she seems nice. But yeah, I mean we just exist pretty much you know. We’re just basically doing our own thing. No talking to each other or anything haha, but that’s ok I guess. I just prefer to have my own company but without having someone in it if that makes sense.

[tyme]

First night, you are probably feeling as strange as each other @Blackcloud 

Give it time 🙂

You are so brave.

[Blackcloud]

@tyme yeah and now I’m just gonna figure out what things I need to get and if I plan on getting them from Aldi. Cause for my mum she usually gets stuff from Coles and Woolworths which are usually expensive than Aldi if I’m right. So, even when she tells me to get stuff from coles or woolworths, doesn’t mean I need to get stuff from those supermarkets specifically. I think following my own gut is what’s more important and what suits me best.

The sad thing is my mum is more of a quality over quantity type of person, which is why she usually tends to get stuff from the more pricey stores/brands just cause they’re “good/better” quality whereas the cheap ones in her perspective are the opposite…the even MORE annoying part is when she tells/convinces us to do the same (buying items from coles/woolworths)

[tyme]

Hahha @Blackcloud .

I'm the same as your parents lol. I pay full price for everything, and my sister gets the same from the op shop lol. 

How I see it is that I don't have the time or the want to go to op shops.. whereas she has 3 kids so she needs to budget.

[Blackcloud]

@tyme oh hahah, I see.

yeah now it’s my turn to figure out and plan out the things I’m gonna buy which are the things that I’ve never ever purchased myself and that’s gonna be as daunting as ever 😃

[tyme]

You'll never know how to do it unless you do it! @Blackcloud 

Good on you @Blackcloud 

This is a HUGE step forward. 

We are here if you need support 🙂 I can't really tell you which towels to buy, but we can share our learning journeys together, my friend!

[Blackcloud]

@tyme honestly, as much as I would wish that I can transfer from a shared room to a private room, but sadly I can't cause then that would mean that I broke/breached the contract if I chose to transfer rooms during the contract period.

[tyme]

That's okay. Take it slowly @Blackcloud 

See how it goes for you.