Lived Experience Forum

[Captain24]

Hi @NatureLover. It feels less crisis like. I feel safe most of the time.

The next 2 days are going to be hard. I have to hide and sneak around as my parents think I’m on nightshift. So I have to be mindful of when they pick the dogs up and drop them home. 

How have you been? 

[Captain24]

I’m tired. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of jumping through hoops. I’m tired of trying to please everyone. I’m just tired. 

[Snowie]

@Captain24 💕💕

Take some time for yourself hon. Sometimes living is tiring.

[Jynx]

@Captain24 just wanna share a quote that helped me once upon a time - 

"You ever love someone so much that you'd do anything for them? Well, make that person yourself, an do whatever the heck you want!"

I know it's not always easy to love oneself, but if pleasing everyone else first is draining everything you have, it's simply not going to be sustainable. Is there one nice thing you can do for yourself this afternoon? 

Hugs my friend, and some for you too @Snowie 

🫂🫂

💖💜💙💚💛❤️

[Captain24]

I’ve done a lot of Lego. I finished one and have started on another. 

Im watching neighbours and crying. I want to go to sleep but I have to trick mum into thinking I’m going to work a 5:30. 

Then I have a thing on at 7 that scares me a little. Raises my anxiety. 

Then I have to leave the house at 9:45 and come back at 10:30 so that my parents drop the dogs off. I can’t be home because the dogs just know and come running down to my room. 

I have to do the whole deceit thing tomorrow too. 

My parents are so nosy that they will now if the Lego I’m doing has changed. So I have to hide that too. 

Im having chest pain with the stress of it all. If I could just be honest about my MH, work stuff and with people who want me to do things. 

@Jynx @Snowie 

[Snowie]

Can you just concentrate on one thing at a time @Captain24 Just getting through the next thing and cast everything else aside.

Looking too far ahead can cause a lot of anxiety.

[Captain24]

It’s like one folds into another. @Snowie. I’m totally overwhelmed right now. 

[PizzaMondo]

I am seconding @Snowie - one thing at a time, and I know that probably looks and feels impossible right now @Captain24 - but it's just going to make us want to scrunch up into a ball and roll away if we let the other ten million things we 'have' to do or are thinking about overwhelm us.

Let's take a deep breath together, INHALEEEEEE, EXHALLLEEEEE.

What is first - I feel like the deceit is something that would be tough to keep up.

I'm wondering what might be helpful for you right now that will allow you to ground yourself. Gather thoughts and feelings ~

[Captain24]

I’m just doing more Lego @PizzaMondo. It’s only a little one so I should be able to hide it easy enough. I did breathe with you..

Everything had a sequence.. so I get it.. focus on each one as it comes. 

Being so deceitful makes me feel sick. I’m not that person it’s just what dealing with my parents makes me do. So I don't have to deal with the nastiness. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 what a conundrum, to be pulled in two different directions like that - choosing between truth and its complications, or a lie that doesn't align with your values. I'm sorry you have to sit in that space, that's hard. One thing at a time, as others said, is the way to go. Here with you darlin 💜