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kato
Senior Contributor

Re: Fear

@peace 

It sounds like you are going through a really tough bit, Try not to be too hard on yourself tho, i know it is easy to do, when we get like that, to start really getting stuck into ourselves because we are struggling.

Also i have never viewed you as being weak or pathetic, i have only ever seen strength and a strong character, someone who is much appreciated here, and whose comments have always been sincere and honest.

I know that feeling of feeling like you have lost a job, i went through that quite a few times in the last couple of years, i found it helped for me, it all depends on how you feel, but it helped for me to sit down with my boss, and explain to him what i was going through........ it was extremely difficult, but he asked me how he could help, and we worked out a few things.

Like i said it was something that helped me, i am not saying you should do it, but it might help?

I hope you are feeling better

 

peace
Senior Contributor

Re: Fear

@kato good advise thanks. She does know yet i don't know how she feels except that she needs reliablty from her works as it is not the sort of job you just can't not turn up for, especially when it takes me down usely for 5 days.
@NikNik you seem to know what i am going thru and about the loop. Any ideas on how to stop that? Mind you i have tried many things over the years that this is happening. Maybe my new meds might help more the longer i am on then. I am hoping /praying that i can go do just the 4 hours am roostered on for tomorrow. These episodes are so yukky and scary and well torture seriously. And no clear diagnosis. And people out here do not understand .
I'm a little bit better tonight.
Thank you very much Sane and forum posters. I seriously appreciate you.

Re: Fear

Loopy,
I decided to work every fortnight one job per fortnight / week and my friend dropped me off there: I was having panic attacks.....
Good reading these blogs, gives me some good tactics
NikNik
Senior Contributor

Re: Fear

Hi @peace

The way I think about it is picking one small thing to do. That's all it takes to interrupt the cycle.
Eating is hard when you have an upset stomach... so trying something like plain like toast or a potato, which won't further upset your stomach but will start to fill it up. Don't worry about the next thing, just focus on just one at a time.

Be sure to keep track of your moods/experiences with your new meds. I often recommend people to keep a bit of a journal of good & bad days so they can show their Dr next time.
This doesn't have to extensive, even just a rating on a scale of 1-5 or 1-10.
This will help track if your medication is helping, whether the help it's providing is plateauing, or just not helpful at all.

You seem to be improving. You have mentioned being a little bit better - what have you done in order to make you feel a bit better?
peace
Senior Contributor

Re: Fear

My body is raked with fear
My mind cannot stop
No matter which way I turn
I feel like I am about to pop

Only three days has passed
Since I felt as solid as a rock
All too soon I'm broken
Please God make it stop

I wish I could run away
Be somewhere nice and safe
But I can't hide from myself
So I just hope this passes quick
kato
Senior Contributor

Re: Fear

Hey @peace 

This poem that you wrote is amazing, i am glad you were able to express how you are feeling, i have been meaning to write you for a few days, had to just stop my head spinning first,

The truest words, how quickly the days pass, when we think we are doing great, how quickly it changes, but you know what, we learn from these changes, the circumstances and how best to deal with it each time, slowly getting better and stronger each time.

I find myself doing the two steps forward five steps backwards, it sounds like you have done the same, perghaps not as many steps lol, My psychlogist in my last session went through a grounding meditation type thing,

Plant feet flat on the ground, hands on your knees, close your eyes, and concentrate on feeling the ground under your feet, feeling your hands on your knees, focusing on your breathing, on the breath reaching all parts of the body, it's all about feeling your breath through your body, you do it for 3mins, usually you should do it every day, but you can use it to help relax the anxiety, i use it for that, hope it helps, it is tricky tho, so don't feel down if you struggle with it, i have been trying it for a couple of days and i find it difficult.

it might help you to slow the anxiety?

Re: Fear

Hi @peace

I wrote to you somewhere but hello here too. I think it was um..........@hiddenite (Karen) but she wrote ya couldn't stop anxiety but you can learn to manage it............

So you know how you manage it ?


peace
Senior Contributor

Re: Fear

I am not feeling so good. I can feel I'm sitting on the edge and one wrong move or thought and I will fall. Everything looks wrong. Damn it is hard
NikNik
Senior Contributor

Re: Fear

hi @peace 

 

I'm really concerned about your post. I'm so sorry to read that you're going through this hard time.

I have emailed you separately, but incase you haven't seen my email, I want to flag that it's really important to speak to someone straight away, if you are having thoughts of suicide. Two organisations which are really helpful are:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or their online chat
Suicide call back service on 1300 659 467  or their online counselling

You have shown great courage in reaching out for help &  I hope you continue to do so. You are more than welcome to continue in the forums, but if you need help immediately, please contact the above organisations to get the support you deserve.

Thinking of you,

 

Nik

kristin
Senior Contributor

Re: Fear

Dear @peace 

I'm holding that candle out for you in the midst of this. Please reach out for the help you need. Well done for posting how you are feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I'm going to wear my Sandy ( @Alessandra1992 ) hat now and ask - not nearly so well as her, but always a good question - what has helped you get through these times in the past?

Hope for light in the darkness endures....

Kindest regards, 

Kristin