Sleeping at a coworkers house, not doing well.

[Frayed_fae]

TW: sexually inappropriate behaviour (no details).

The last few months have been challenging and my mental health was already in a difficult spot. Then my best friend and housemate X who is engaged to my other best friend and housemate Y made me uncomfortable. While on substances X made comments to me and Y about not being totally happy in his relationship with Y and wanting to have a polyamorous relationship with both of us. He then was sexually inappropriate towards me.

This behaviour links up to previous weird moments with him and aligns with a similar experience 5 years ago where he was sexually inappropriate towards me, saying he thought I was Y at the time.

I have been distraught. X knows about this all and they are getting couples counselling but otherwise acting unphased. I struggle seeing them together because I think Y deserves better. It’s awkward at home and my mental health has taken a severe dive. They’re both being colder towards me and I feel like I’ve lost both of my best friends. It’s brought up sexual trauma for me.

So I’m sleeping in a coworkers house in her spare room. I still pay X rent and my belongings are still there. My car broke down this evening also and I’m unsure how to continue going to work. I’m anxious about taking more time off. I’m also incredibly stressed due to an upcoming indefinite overseas trip in January (1-2 years) which I’ve done minimal preparation for due to my mental ill health. I feel destabilised and like I’m drowning.

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Frayed_fae 

I'm glad that you've been able to lean on your co-worker to remove yourself from this situation, at least for the time being. From what you have described here it does not sound as though your male housemate is someone who makes you feel safe in your home. While I know that you've mentioned that these people are your best friends, they seem to be showing a lack of care and consideration for you after putting you in a very uncomfortable situation that has caused you to need to leave your home. While I don't know the extent of your male housemate's actions towards you, if you're not able to talk about it here I would encourage you to connect with 1800RESPECT for further support and guidance

Do you have any other supports who you may lean on during this time, either friends or family, or professional supports such as your GP or a therapist?

It sounds as though this has come at such a high-stress time too, with your move coming up and your car breaking down. Sometimes it seems that when it rains it pours. 

This all sounds to be really overwhelming, but despite all this you've been able to reach out here for support, which is a great step. Perhaps it would help to try to break down each situation into small, achievable steps, rather than focussing on the whole. just trying to take it one step at a time? What is one small step that you could take today to move forwards?