Not settling for less.

[Dk5]

I have so much potential but have felt like I'm falling short , not to lack of motivation or lack of effort... well maybe a little bit of that. What tools can I use to turn this around? @Jynx

[Jynx]

Hmmm good question @Dk5!! I really struggle with procrastination cos of my ADHD, but something that has helped is to try to figure out the source of the delay. Like sometimes it's cos I don't actually want to do the thing and so it can feel like the only way to motivate is to rely on external things like deadlines or consequences. Other times it's cos the thing is causing me anxiety, for instance if I don't do it to a particular standard I feel like I will let someone down so I'll just avoid doing it in case I do a crappy job. 

What do you think might be behind it for you? I reckon fear of failure would probably be the most common one in my experience, but we humans are complex creatures hey

[Judymay]

Hello @Dk5 

In my experience making goals that are actually achievable helps my motivation. I will even make lists and put things like brush teeth or attend psych appointments because you need to put somethings that feel easy to tick off so you are feeling that achievement and accomplishment.

So I recommend starting small and doing things that include self care. I find that as I prioritise my self care with hygiene or by listening to an affirmation video or a song or whatever it may be for you, that you find yourself more motivated. It is like it activates that energy in yku and you may become aware of what you want.

Also you know how we praise and reward children when they do things? Well adults deserve it to, because it doesn't get any easier as you age to do things. It doesn't have to be extravagant or expensive but give yourself a goal and a reward or something for you to enjoy. For me this week I've had a lot of failed efforts however I told myself if I make it Friday, I get to wash my face, have a nice meal and rent wicked and relax.

I hope this may offer some kind of option that may be worth trying☺️

[Dk5]

@Judymay thanks alot I forget about doing this all the time

[Dk5]

@Jynx i reakon it's because I believe I'm doing enough and of course one of my excuses is not enough time.

[Jynx]

Aye @Dk5 kinda hard to contend with isn't it, the ever-onward march of time 😅

You use a schedule or something to try to organise your time? I'm literally in the process of trying to force myself to actually create some more structures around my own time, it's not actually as easy as it sounds lol but it could be helpful if you wanted to like, try to ensure you are dedicating a particular amount of time each week to the stuff you're procrastinating. I am gonna see if it helps to like, make it so that Sunday evenings I have minimum one hour I dedicate to organising my diary and appts and stuff for the week. Then I don't have to think about it outside of that hour! 

I will see how I go haha