Never being in a relationship

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

This is the problem I had the other day, I feel like women are so picky these days even in the face of a housing shortage and a cost of living crisis. It is insane and I feel so defeated.

[tyme]

What??? Only 30? @TheRenegade345 Forgive me if that feels invalidating... You've got a lifetime ahead!

Geezzz. considering how much you have achieved by 30, that's even more wow! Good on you!

ROLL UP! ROLL UP! There's gold here! (jokes).

I gtg now, but will catch ya tomorrow.

[tyme]

Since there is 'no support for men' like you, take the lead mate. YOU be the resource for men like you. YOU be the one to advocate and support people like you. 

You are the best at understanding what works for you - much better than what I and others can. 

Definitely, take the reins! Go for it. Don't wait for Change. BE THE CHANGE. It's in your hands. @TheRenegade345 

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

Believe me I have tried. I tried starting groups last year, I tried doing blog posts, I have tried doing a variety of things. I dont know what to do. Ive asked various organisations and they havent helped either. There are no resources or support structures.

Believe me I have left no stone unturned. Based on my experiences recently, people dont want to hear what I have to say.

[Appleblossom]

I have heard other young men of a similar age say similar things 

@TheRenegade345 

a week ago on a zoom meeting… a man said he was privileged to be a white male….  Was shaking my head trying to communicate that he didn’t have to say that….

But given the many circumstances I see around…. It is not always easy being male … especially if people feel overly guilty for just being who they were born as…

I respect that most people have struggles… or pain of some kind

take care 

apple

[TheRenegade345]

@Appleblossom 

I think there is a lack of resources in men’s mental health in today’s society. I feel very alone and like I have no one you gets how I feel. I’m at the shops and everyone around me looks like they are in a relationship.

[Appleblossom]

@TheRenegade345

I have felt like that especially when I go into the city and see what seems to be couples and happy families.

Yes, also hearing you about men's mental health these days. Despite there being some groups just for men, there is a lot of generalising that seems discriminatory to me.

It should not be a crime just to be male.

Everyone has pain and struggles.

[TheRenegade345]

I think I’m just bitter and twisted. I haven’t had any intimacy in almost 6 years. I haven’t had sex in almost 6 years. I haven’t had anyone show any interest in me or put any effort in wanting to be with me in almost 6 years.

yet ive worked on myself consistently for 6 years, I’m a very different person now. I have my own place, I have a job, I’ve got more friends. I have lots of hobbies too. Yet this area of my life is completely unsatisfactory.

I feel completely stuck. I have no idea how to deal with this sexual frustration. I’ve tried seeing a sex therapist to mixed results. I’ve tried to seek support. 

I honestly don’t know what to do. I am crying so much over how painful and ashamed this makes me feel.

@Appleblossom @tyme @rav3n @Ru-bee 

[rav3n]

i can hear how painfully frustrating this is for you, sending you hugs 💙

@TheRenegade345 you have done and accomplished so much! i hope you're proud of yourself for how far you've come, i sure am! you mentioned that the sex therapy ended up with mixed results, out of curiosity - was your therapist educated on/experienced in working with people who are on the spectrum? also, what did you mean by 'mixed results'?

[tyme]

Hey mate, I'm sorry you are feeling so stuck. That feeling sure sucks!

I can see how much this is affecting you and you genuinely WANT change, but don't know how - right? @TheRenegade345 

I really don't know what to say that will help. I know what I would do and what I've been taught to do, but I know I'm not you, so I don't want you to feel invalidated.

As I've mentioned before, you've honestly got so much in you. I'm not sure what else I can say to help you feel less stuck at this time.

Please know I'm here to lend you an ear.