Never being in a relationship

[tyme]

Me too @TheRenegade345 .

No one knows how long they will live for. But how you live it? That's a different story. 

To me, I feel the black dog is just so big. And each one of these thoughts is feeding the black dog so that it overtakes all else. I know you feel having a relationship is 'the answer'... but my fear is, what happens if the relationship comes and the realisation hits that it's not the answer to what you are feeling?

Who knows? 

I wish I could say much much more, but I don't want you to feel upset, invalidated or hurt even more. I'm sorry. 

As I say, I hope change comes to you soon.

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

I dont believe a relationship is the answer, I just want to experience one. I havent had physical touch in almost 6 years now. I feel so sexually frustrated and just so grumpy because of it.

Two more people I went to school with have gotten married, end my suffering now I cant take it.

[tyme]

Hey @TheRenegade345 ! Good to see you. 

Believe it or not, I was JUST (at this very moment) looking for this thread to see how you are going. 

So what if 2 school mates just got married? Do we all run on the same timeline? Are you going to let a comparison take your life away?

Just reading what is going through your mind makes me want to give you a hug. I wish I could 'solve your problem'.... but I guess that's not my role.

I hear your frustrations. Have you ever considered a sex therapist?

Your feelings are real. Your feelings are valid.

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

I know, it's just one of those people was a guy who used to treat women like absolute crap. He literally viewed women as only being good for sex and thats it. Yet, he wasn't short on women chasing after him even if he was a misogynist.

I have been to a sex therapist and while there were a couple of strategies that have been relatively helpful, it needs to be with another person. I hate being on my own with this crap.

[tyme]

I hear it can feel so lonely to sit with this 'crap', staring into the ceiling... hoping above hopes that things will change. I hear that. @TheRenegade345 And I hear it's not easy at all.

Remember a while back I spoke to you about the Relationships Webinar? I was moderating it and thought about you a fair bit during the webinar. If you feel up to watching it, it's available here: https://saneforums.org/t5/Events-and-updates/Recording-Mental-Health-Webinar-7-Managing-Relationship...

Also, it's totally okay if you don't watch it. No pressure at all. Only if you are interested.

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme why does everyone hate me

[tyme]

Hey mate @TheRenegade345 ,

Am I including in the 'everyone'? Did I say I hated you? 

"Hate" is a very strong word that I don't associate with people - their behaviour, maybe, but not people.

Thinking about you.

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

I would say the guys who treat women like crap but get to be in relationships and have the opportunity to get married (one guy I went to school recently got married and he has very backwards views on how women should be treated). I hate those guys because they have made it impossible for me to get in relationships.

Then I find out that two friends I have are easily getting into casual relationships but still complaining about how thats all they can find. I wish I could get into casual relationships, all I get is rejected and I feel so ugly and unattractive because of it.

That's why I feel everyone hates me.

[tyme]

Hey @TheRenegade345 ,

To be honest with you, I don't see how their lives show they hate you. Rather, as you posted, YOU hate them. Right?

[tyme]

It doesn't sound like those people are getting into relationships for the purpose of getting back at you because they hate you. @TheRenegade345