Never being in a relationship

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

I would like it to be a group where everyone comes along to discuss their issues in a moderated and safe way.

The purpose of the group is not to date but to explore this issue. I dont think it would be a good idea for others to find someone this way or encourage it either. Obviously you cant stop people meeting up outside the group but the point of the group would be to discuss these issues and find common ground and hopefully make others more empathetic and purposeful in the way that they date.

Nothing on for the break, mostly just trying to survive. Which is essentially what my life is now, I dont live I just survive

[tyme]

Sorry for all the questions.

So, just say this group happened in real life where people could come and discuss their challenges. How could you then transfer this knowledge to the wider world?

Otherwise it'd just be people struggling, gathering with people struggling - will it turn into a 'pity party'? This is the part I'm not getting.

Or, is it better for people who are struggling to chat to those who have 'succeeded' as a way of seeing what works?

Thoughts @TheRenegade345 ?

No need to respond if you don't feel comfy. I'm just curious as to how this could even look.

As for surviving, I totally get you. I have to say I've been in a similar place - life has no meaning and it was just about plodding along and flowing with the current.

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

I feel like the stories of people I have heard of succeeding tend to be condescending or they have no idea what we in the losers department have actually struggled with.

Maybe it is a terrible idea, I shouldn't have brought it up. I dont know what to do anymore. My life is an absolute dumpster fire, I hate dating and I hate this world

[tyme]

Hey mate @TheRenegade345 , don't be so hard on yourself! It's not actually a bad idea, but I reckon it would have to be thought out carefully. 

I have to log off now, but I'm going to have a deeper think about it.

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

I am a loser, women find me unattractive. I have no future or no hope. I am a loser with no chance to win.

"You are just going to have to accept that you will die alone and no one will ever love you". Rings in my head every day. And it's true. I am a despicable creature who is just a blob of atoms taking up space.

[Jynx]

Hey @TheRenegade345 it sounds like you're being really hard on yourself! Can be really easy to truly believe these things about ourselves, especially when also dealing with rejection. 

Are there ways you can show yourself some compassion? 

[TheRenegade345]

@Jynx 

I do provide myself compassion, every day since I left school. Sometimes, for years on end, it was the only form of love I would receive.

I would like some external love from time to time. Like what others get and I cant. I am absolutely dead inside and I just cant do it at the moment.

[Jynx]

Glad to hear it @TheRenegade345 and I do know it is tiring. I guess it just makes me really sad to hear you talk about yourself that way. Plus... there's the whole 'our thinking creates our reality' thing - if you continue to tell yourself that you are despicable, not only will you believe it, but so will others. I encourage self-compassion not because I don't think you're already doing it, but because I think we all need a reminder sometimes, myself included. 

[TheRenegade345]

@Jynx 

I just want this all to stop. I want everything to stop. I am in so much pain, I hate this whole godforsaken planet. I have been practicing self-compassion on my own for so long I have nothing else to show for it. [Removed by moderator]

[Jynx]

I'm pretty concerned about you @TheRenegade345 - I'm going to flick you an email to check in ok?