@TheRenegade345 getting more shy and introverted is the change I'm talking about. I'm just speculating here but, does it mean you're less likely to talk about your special interests? Or that you might make a joke but decide not to, in case it is inappropriate? All those little things count, because they're pieces of you that are remaining hidden.
I would also caution against spending too much time comparing your circumstances to anyone else. Yes, it is REALLY disheartening and crappy to see other men put in less effort and seem to be more successful. But in my experience, spending so much energy feeling angry and resentful towards others for their success in area in which we're struggling only serves to leave us utterly miserable, defeated, and exhausted. And that'll be felt by the people we're trying to connect with too.
The other (crappy) factor is that sometimes... it's a numbers game. Which, for someone who has already been playing said game, might be entirely frustrating for you to hear! But it might be the case where like... let's say you're a good match for about 1 in 1000 people. These women who seem to go for other guys might be a good match for 1 in 100 people. And that's not because you're unappealing or doing anything wrong, it just means there might be fewer people out there in the world who actually get you. It's what I've found anyway, it's quite a rare thing for me allow anyone to get close because I find a lot of people just... exhausting to be around.
Which leads me to another thought... maybe part of the problem you're having is what I am gonna refer to as 'breaking into community'. Not like a burglar 😝 But like, I'm just thinking about when I first moved out of home and was living in Sydney for uni. I chose Sydney because I heard it was THE hot spot for queer community (it's actually Melbourne, lol). Yet even after living there for 3 years, I still hadn't made ANY queer friends. I felt so isolated, misunderstood, and alone. And I really tried ya know? I was always going to queer bars and events and stuff, but I couldn't even make any friends, let alone forge any romantic connections. Cos it felt like the community was already so well-established; everyone had their cliques, their groups and group chats, and I always felt like someone locked outside in the cold, watching everyone else celebrate next to the fire inside.
I think that's also kinda what @Ru-bee was encouraging - finding community and building a network of friendships is a really good way to start finding like-minded people... who might just end up introducing you to someone with whom you find a really good connection.
