Compassion

[Appleblossom]

Dear Misty

I am glad that you have found some good social roles to fulfill to be part of a community offline too. Unfortunately whenever 2 or more are gathered it is not always in His name and often there are hiccups. I hope you enjoy the cafe.  We have a cafe in our church where the coffee is lousy but the service and people are great... so it is worth it.  It helped get over my fear of exclusion by sitting there often at quiet times and busy times and watch the flow of of groups and singles and sometimes sit there chatting with   choir people.   It helped me with the fear of going into a room full of the buzz of conversation. 

Teresa of Avil and John of the Cross are too popular saints that I like. I first read the Dialogues of Catherine of Sienna. The language and form of thought is often quaint and needs to be read in historical context ... but they are all simply struggles of people to be good.

I have studied role theory too it is a part of Psychodrama ...

I like reading Buddhism too ..Walpole Rahula is an excellent intro .. Ashvagosha ..and the Tao Te Ching.  I started western philospohy at uni but dropped it as it was too dry ...but still know Plato and Bertrand Russell etc...

I read because I love ideas and frankly people havent been too nice to me ...and it is not because I am paranoid but that people are often cliquey, dont care, or cant be bothered.

I have worked with the concept of fear and courage greatly in many ways and feel I can tell the difference.

Thank you for saying it was wrong what mother did re sleeping ... in the end she betrayed me a lot more than just that ... but that was one sign ...it certainly was not all my father's fault.

I dont know that I forgive all my relatives .. I move between anger and understanding ... and because of the severity of the outcomes maybe thats the best that it will be.

Sorry if my posts are too long.

[Appleblossom]

I am glad you benefitted @Neb.

Yes all the traditions have something to offer or they wouldnt have lasted ..

but big institutions have their own set of problems  ..

I find it interesting that many people turned off by christian religion can be enthusiastic about the Dalai Lama preaching the same thing as Christ ... it is what it is ..

[Appleblossom]

PS. @Misty-Mirrors I never discussed many behaviours that I dealt with growing up with my first 2 psychiatrists ...(I saw them for 8 years) there wasnt time or something ... other issues with children and deaths and husband were more pressing ... I am doing that now ...thanks for the codependency tip.

[Misty-Mirrors]

Hello Neb.
What is DID? What is Tridentine?
It sounds like religion helped you.
I grew up without religion. From the age of 24 to 39 I had a mentor. He was a Catholic. He was very clever. I became a Catholic. I only stayed in the church for 2 years. Later I joined a Twelve Steps organization and slowly my faith renewed. This was at the age of 58. I have been attending church regularly since then.
I combine my healing with medication prescribed by a psychiatrist, the care of nuns and the care of a a psychologist who is from the same country as I.
I wish you luck.
Misty Mirror.

[Misty-Mirrors]

Hello Appleblossom.
I have only read one saint. That is St. Therese of Lisieux. A priest recommended me to him. I have done some exercises designed by St. Ignatius of Loyola. I found them good when I did them in a group. I didn't like doing them individually.
I haven't read any philosophers. I find philosophy very difficult to understand. I think it is convoluted. I I have read many self-help books. They helped me becoming healthier and more serene.
I would like to learn to act. I started a one-day course with Naida recently. I was very embarrassed. I left after morning tea. They were kind, however. An employee phoned me a few days later and asked me whether I was okay. I was thankful for that.
I only have very little experience with Buddhism. I do like relaxation exercises and mindfulness, however. I guess they are offsprings of Buddhism and Hinduism. Early Christians also meditated.
I found codependence books and Codependence Anonymous very good. They taught me how good parenting should be like and what dysfunctional parents do. It also taught me what the symptoms (maladjustment) of bad parenting is.
Misty.

[Misty-Mirrors]

Hello Appleblossom.
I found psychologist better for problems than psychiatrists. I find that psychiatrists are only interested in controlling behaviour and thoughts with medication.
Misty.

[Appleblossom]

I tend to agree @Misty-Mirrors but they are all unique too ... I have seen enough of both to have a reasonable sample size to make a generalisation ... lol ..

My last psychologist was a bit light weight and did not have much to contribute ... so I stopped and tried for a while researching and phoning and have not gone back .. except the Carers Vic person ...I had a good one for about 8 years and he helped me manage my son through the marriage break up periods .. I had such low self esteem I didnt mind seeing a psychiatrist for me .. but didnt want them to harm my son ... so took the psychology discipline ...

There are many psychiatrists who are offended by the approach of Big Pharma .. I will post it on a new thread.

I dropped Philosophy 101 in first year .. but keep bumping into it at various times ... and have now finished the massive text I was given back then ...a lot depends on how it is taught ...

The Greek philosophers were just into having DIALOGUES .. like we are ...so should the psychiatrists.

Nida are great for drama ... I am not a great actor but have been involved a little ... keep talking ... and doing things ... I have to go drop son for busking now ...

cheers

[Appleblossom]

I read about the Little Flower when I was young and a biography as an adult ... she was my mother's favourite saint and my mother was angry that I did not choose her for my confirmation ... I had to discuss it with the priest and he said I had the right to choose my own saint for my spirituality .. and I choise Francis of Assissi ... maybe that is why I have an open approach to gender ... but the priest at the time and my father thought it was approriate and fine, even though he was a male saint...

I encourage you to read others ... ask those who you respect .. I am a little wary of the French St Therese being used as the only model for behaviour ...  her tragic story is unique to her ... and it can be used to force people to submit to things as "the will of God" whereas they may be things that they can actually change and so prevent creative thinking and problem solving .... my mother forced us children to suffer a lot that was unncessary .. some of it was just her ignorance . . but ... too much focus on suffering did set the scene for self harm annd sacrifice to the death for my sibs and self.

It sounds like you have taken slow and steady steps to affirm your faith, thinking and way of life .. with support from medical and spiritual guides .. that is WISE ... my mother was not that humble .. she was deeply spiritual but very very proud ... liked bossing priests around or having them rely on her as a church organist ... she played parishes off against each other too ... to ensure she remained top dog ... but she is dead now ..God bless her soul.

[Neb]

Hi Misty Mirrors....DID is dissociative identity disorder, it use to be called multiple personality disorder....think 3 faces of eve. Basically, after early trauma, the person on the receiving end copes by creating mechanisms and sort of locks up bits of the brain. Fragmentary personalities emerge to deal with parts of ones life. My first one was modelled on Edward Bear my teddy who was my knight in shining armour, but it subdivided as one grew up.

The Tridentine Mass is the Mass before Vatican 2 introduced many changes. The Mass I attend is that and is in Latin, which is a learning curve. It is  beautiful, I think.

i am glad you have found peace in your spiritual journey, and an ability to make sense of the world. It is nice to see someone who has survived decades as I have. I have only just started seeing a psychologist, whom I enjoy as I am very isolated in my relationships...one of the legacies of my life I guess.

[Baboo]

Hello,

Sorry to butt into the conversation, but who has DID? My very best in the whole wide world friend has it 🙂

Baboo