@NikNik
Thanks for starting this discussion. It's an important topic.
As you and others have noted, there are numerous problems with this whole idea of 'pursuing normality'. IMHO, the problems associated with the idea of 'normal' are due to improper use of language. In a nutshell, what people mean when they say "I want to be normal" is "I want to be in a harmonious, synchronized relationship with the community surrounding me."
Very few of us would not be able to sympathize, if not wholeheartedly agree with this ambition. Few people wish to inspire suspicion, hatred or disgust within the world. Few people want to be percieved as aliens within the community; people who are especially avoided, or who are interacted with in an awkward manner that is distinctly differant to the way the rest of the community interacts with each other. We want to feel like we are one of our tribe. We want to understand our neighbors and be understood; not simply in an academic way; the way a person might "understand" a concept once they've read a wikipedia article on it, but on the deep, personal level. When we hear our community speak, we want to think to ourselves, "these people really get it!" and we want our community to feel the same way when we speak.
We want to be appreciated by those around us; we want to be an asset to them, and by the same token, we want those around us to be people we sincerely appreciate, who we considder to be an enrichment to our lives.
This is what, I believe, people mean when they say they "want to be normal". They want to be one of the tribe, and not a foreigner.
The problem is that we are not born into regions that match our core nature. The tribes are scattered and mismatched like bags of jellybeans. Or perhaps more like mechano and lego pieces bundled in to the same kits: the pieces don't fit together properly because they are from differant brands.
To an extent, we may be able to play-act like we are a part of the dominant culture. Even today, this happens a lot with the homosexual community as many of them (often with tragic accuracy) unfortunately assume that they need to do so to be respected by those around them. But in the end, it is just play acting; there are subtleties that we simply can't percieve nor master that bit by bit give the game away and alert those around us that we are not "one of them."I'm not saying that this is a fool's errand, as in liu of having a community of kindred spirits, even taking steps to reduce the amount of animosity we "aliens" might naturally attract can make the situation better then simply doing nothing.
We are who we are and unfortunately, that is not always who the majority of our neighbors or townspeople are. We don't want to be "normal". We want to be with our tribe. But unfortunately there is no known place where the environment/culture reflects the mind of that tribe. Today is not the day that our tribe has a place to call home. And therefore, neither do we.
