TW: Sexual assault that caused my relationship to end.
The pain that I’m experiencing right now is a breakup due to being made to believe (gaslighting) I’m a lier and I’m not telling the truth to my OWN story but the “partner” is telling me what he is saying is True and I’m the lier and cheater?! Can somebody tell me they know what I am on about?
I BLAME myself, absolutely. Alcohol has always been an issue of mine- yes. And I got myself in this position-yes.
Though when it comes down to the fact I had blacked out and don’t know how I got from C to D! Then I come to at F & G. I say that is myself being taken advantage by the “supposed to be friend” if I come to while this guy going down on me.
I saw no Genitals - I recall him having underwear on. Then I ask him to stop I have a boyfriend (which he knew) and can’t be doing this! And he left. he then blocked me on all avenues where I then tried to get him to tell me what had happened but no response!
I didn’t know what to call it- or what had just happened. I was blaming my self going around and around for 6 months!!!!!! Then I finally broke and asked for help and spoke out about.
I went to the police and reported it.
they say I was taken advantage of REGARDLESS if I was intoxicated.
Someone knows what’s right from wrong!!!
Now I opened up and went through the steps and explained everything to my partner with hope of understanding and forgiveness and much needed support! But no-
it was the complete opposite.
tell me- what can I do to help with both aspects 1.Sexual assault &
I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. As mentioned, whether intoxicated or not, no one has the right to do what they did. I'm glad you had the courage to speak up about it.
At the same time, I'm sorry your partner didn't understand. It sounds incredibly difficult to not only have to go through the SA, but then to not be supported by someone who you thought would.
Re: TW: Sexual assault that caused my relationship to end.
Thank-you for your response Tyme.
It's constantly on replay and it hurts because I can't give answers to what I don't have answers about my own self. and to try to do the best you can do to prove to him AND my oneself. I feel guilty, and start to beat myself up about it and think of this and was it that, if I did this and that. I know that shows in its self that just maybe who I thought was to be the partner I was going to start a family with isn't and wasn't meant to happen. And that he wasn't mature enough to come to the table to see what it is. It's like I'm constantly trying to reinsure myself and I still need to prove myself, I need that to stop, and to pass.
Yes thank you I do have support from close family &n while I was at the Police Station they gave me support numbers. The police who took my report gave me her contact and the report details just incase the therapist would like to access them. Im now just waiting on doctors appointments to get referrals to Make appointment.
what I'm really after if reinsurance of some sort, but I don't no what!?!? 😞
Re: TW: Sexual assault that caused my relationship to end.
and just ontop a broken heart, and knowing the state his in hurts me too, this is when we needed each other the very most and not turn the check the other way. I needed him. 😞
Re: TW: Sexual assault that caused my relationship to end.
Hi Darling,
I didn’t read the entire post because it looked like a trigger warning.
What stopped me was the word liar. My love, I don’t know about what has happened to you but please understand that the word “liar” is the most toxic and weaponized word in our lexicon, it’s used solely to discredit and demoralize. When we talk about emotion or our interpretation of events, we are never liars. Embellishments, fabrications, these are terms for consideration, but a lie? People can get stuffed sometimes. I’m sorry I didn’t read your story because it would make me feel sad too. people can get stuffed. Everyone that calls another person a liar is willing themselves to get a frozen coke chucked out of my drivers window while they walk down the street. sexual assault can take the wind from your sails, make you dislike or question who you are. you are not your sexual assault, you’re not a liar. You are sovereign and you will build your empire on this offense.
Re: TW: Sexual assault that caused my relationship to end.
Thank you! And thank you for even responding to me after seeing a trigger warning! I completely understand and respect you for that. That’s so very nice of you and I completely understand and can agree. Thank you again!!!
Re: TW: Sexual assault that caused my relationship to end.
My love,
If someone hurts you, you don’t need that person. You need to be away from people who hurt you. I promise. The people who profess to love the people they hurt, they won’t change and they will resent you for allowing them to hurt you. This is the dark and sad chapter of the DSM. love, I love pizza, I love my dog, I love movies. I love green lights and 0 traffic.
the love you feel is yours alone and the love you have is awesome and amazing, you’ll make a marvelous life and have many friends and make your own family. love that is like proper love, healthy love, loving love..will never hurt you and lest, never blame you for hurt. this is only acceptable in dementia maybe, radical personality change.
My dear, never stay with someone who hurts you. Don’t love someone who hurts you.
So proud of you for being able to put what you went through down in words, it can't have easy, so well done. As regards that partner of yours, well he was not there for you, which I so sorry for and he didn't give you the support and respect that you deserve. Another one of life's painful lessons that are sometimes forced upon us.
Hoping that the support network around loves and supports you during this time and always, you know we are always here if you need to sound off. Take care of yourself........Asgard
Re: TW: Sexual assault that caused my relationship to end.
I really appreciate your support and kind words, I can't stress it enough, I've never opened up or have the GUTS enough to come forward regarding such circumstances.
thank you all for your time and care!. thank-you !!!
Re: TW: Sexual assault that caused my relationship to end.
Forget regardless of intoxication for starters and for your peace of mind. The culture wants you to get hammered, black out and be compliant. I don’t want to make this about my feminism but I must ask you to review the films you’ve seen, messages you’ve heard in the media. Spanish fly, I’m going to get her drunk..etc. funky cold Medina. This is rape culture and its many excuses and opportunities for exploitation. Don’t get me started on capitalism and how all of this is the means of suppression and control. you were drunk, so what? Every dude that’s good at football is drunk too, and coked up.
