13-12-2014 05:32 PM
13-12-2014 05:32 PM
Well I got dressed! hurray for me, the first time in two days
I made my bed Hurray for me. My bedroom looks tidy
I cleaned my ensuite Double hurry for me. It badly needed doing.
I cleaned gingers cat litter. Im sure he was pleased!
On a serious note I acknowledged suicidal thoughts as just that thoughts. I didn't act on them
I somehow worked through the stress and agitation I felt
I had a sleep on the bed, but only for an hour, not the whole afternoon.
So how do I feel now? OK safe. Pleased with myself that I did accomplish something today.
13-12-2014 08:54 PM
13-12-2014 08:54 PM
That's awesome @Chris - did you use any particular strategy?
I was thinking about what I achieved today.... hmmmm
- washing
- went for a walk
-bought 1 Christmas present (1 down, 1 million to go!)
It feels pretty rewarding reflecting on what you've achieved!
Thanks for sharing Chris!
13-12-2014 09:16 PM - edited 14-12-2014 07:47 PM
13-12-2014 09:16 PM - edited 14-12-2014 07:47 PM
Wow, what a great, uncomplicated post, @Chris ! Thanks so much.
To be really honest, I can't say I achieved anything today. Except, maybe ... well, I smiled at your post. So there ya go, I heard you! 😉
Cheers,
Aonaran
(Actually, I just thought of something I did do today: resisted going to Maccas when I got a hankering. Haven't been there in yonks, and I'm trying so hard to get healthy, but I still get cravings. I think it's the sugar and fat -- I've read they're tougher addictions to break than nicotine.)
13-12-2014 09:59 PM
13-12-2014 09:59 PM
Wow @Chris
It sounds like you achieved an awful lot, with the physical tasks being the smaller part of it. It sounds like you took a big step forward in handling those intensely painful thoughts differently (mindfully). You didn't let them stop you from doing what you wanted to do. Nor did you let them stop you from being gentle enough with yourself to allow some rest in the day.
Please take note, and remind yourself. It is so easy to miss this, when we can do something then it becomes relatively easy (like breaking the sound barrier, we know we can do it again). So a very human tendency is to overlook how hard that was before, and look at the next hurdle instead. Giving ourselves a "well done" pat on the back helps make each new step that bit easier.
BTW I'm not suggesting that you won't ever struggle with this stuff again (although I do hope that may be so), but that having managed it better once will help improve how you can deal with it in future. So hats off to you.
Here's something I wrote last year when grappling with mindfulness and beginning to use it. I hope you like it
Willingly (Skeletons II)
I peer in upon them
Hideous and apparently leering
Back at me
They hiss and rattle
Frighteningly
I fight the overpowering urge
To slam the closet door
I will myself to look again
They are cowering
Terrified of me
Bearing a lifetime of scars:
From harsh judgements,
Overlaid upon abuse –
Others’, and mine
I recognise them now,
Malformed from all
They’ve had to endure,
And perceive in their fragility
A strange and moving beauty
Silenced for so long, yet
They inspire my creativity
I grasp my courage;
I reach out and embrace them willingly
Their confronting ugliness
And painful brokenness
Are all mine.
They hold essential parts of me
And I choose to grow more whole.
Kristin © May 2013
Kindest regards
13-12-2014 10:36 PM
13-12-2014 10:36 PM
Wow I can so relate Chris. Except you had the guts to talk about it.
Thank you
Rick
14-12-2014 09:21 AM
14-12-2014 09:21 AM
14-12-2014 11:02 AM
14-12-2014 11:02 AM
Yeah, good on you for resisting macca's,and Im pleased I put a smile on your face! I think sometime we forget about our small achievements, when everything looks so black and overwhelming.Maybe we could keep this running as a reminder to ourselves, we can achieve something positive each day And we can feel good about ourselves.I am trying to hang on to anything that is positive in only the slightest way.Ive been in a dark place for a very long time, and I want to come into the light.Don't mean to sound melodramatic. think I better stop while im ahead.
So Ginger went off to one of his hidey holes and I had a shower and got dressed.Rang my sister as she is unwell, but improving she tells me.Out for lunch today, and just hoping it wont be crowded .
14-12-2014 07:02 PM - edited 14-12-2014 07:49 PM
14-12-2014 07:02 PM - edited 14-12-2014 07:49 PM
Thanks for the acknowledgement, @Chris . 😉
Hope lunch was a success.
OK, I seem to be avoiding doing practical things. (I've got the hedge out the front half-trimmed, but can't seem to get myself back out there with the shears in my hands. And it frankly looks absurd; even I haven't found a way to squint at it that makes it look like anything but an unfinished job.)
So what did I achieve today? Well, it's trivial, but I reformatted a book I really want to read, one that I have in an old PDF, into a laid-out and spelling-checked ePub so I can take it to the park and read it on my Kobo. Maybe that counts for something.
And I've lost 9 kgs in the last month. 27 more to go to hit my target BMI.
14-12-2014 07:42 PM - edited 14-12-2014 07:43 PM
14-12-2014 07:42 PM - edited 14-12-2014 07:43 PM
kristin Bloody beautiful.
loopy
14-12-2014 07:50 PM
14-12-2014 07:50 PM
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