Red's house

[The-red-centaur]

@tyme 

This time of year usually throws trauma at my face so hard. I am learning i don't have to go back to it constantly however. I can reflect on it and be sorry it happened. I can live it differently now. 

[tyme]

You're amazing @The-red-centaur .

What a message to give to your younger self.

[The-red-centaur]

Im sick again. I'm tired and can't sleep coz it's hard to breathe. Everything hurts. A

I'm stressing that I won't be able to pack my stuff in time coz I'm feeling terrible. 

There is staff training today too. I'm going to be there and will be involved in running it. I have to talk about why Christmas period is so hard for me. I have to go into my traumas and explain my hurts. I'm scared. I've been trying to keep it together this December. I don't want to break. I know them hearing it from me and my views on things would help them in supporting me. It's just hard. I missed the initial training due to being sick. I can't miss this one. 

Sigh. I hate my body. I am so sick of being constantly sick and I'm tired of being so tired. It hurts. 

[The-red-centaur]

The meeting was cancelled coz I'm pretty sick. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @The-red-centaur that sucks that your meeting had to be cancelled, but it sounds like you probably needed the rest.

How are you feeling now?

[The-red-centaur]

@Ru-bee it's 35 today, my current house doesn't have air-conditioning. But I've been cold on the couch rugged up. I've been resting. Hopefully in a few days I'll be feeling better. 

[Ru-bee]

Oh wow @The-red-centaur 

Glad you've been getting rest, hopefully you start feeling better soon!

[The-red-centaur]

I feel like I'm getting worse. My body doesn't know if it's hot or cold...like I'm shivering cold etc, sweating profusely. Temp is a bit everywhere...bed isn't helping. Everything hurts. I feel weak and dizzy. I'm nauseous. My chest hurts. Breathing and coughing sucks. 

Urghhhhh sorry about complaining so much. I really don't need to be sick rn. I'm supposed to be getting ready to move. But im stuck in bed crying. 

Life has a way of going wrong when things start improving slightly. I get a lot of health anxiety, im always sick. It's hard when there is always physical health issues to battle on top of mh. I'm tired. 

[rav3n]

hey @The-red-centaur i'm so sorry to hear you're feeling unwell. i can't imagine how exhausting this must be, especially with your move-in coming up. i hope you get some rest and relief soon, is there anything that's been helping you so far?

you don't need to apologise here, you deserve a space to vent!! sending you healing energy 💜

[Shaz51]

ohhh sending you lots of hugs @The-red-centaur , sitting with you my friend and hope you feel better soon