Red's house

[The-red-centaur]

I miss my old house, my old support workers, my old case manager and now my OT has left. I miss having lungs that actually worked, I miss not having tinnitus, I miss not being sick all the time. 

I want to give up.....I know I can't that this will be the new normal soon. It just suck and it hurts. 

[The-red-centaur]

I've been trying to call a helpline ivf been on hold over 45min. 

I tire writing stuff down, it accidentally got deleted. 

Ffffffssss I wish I could just arrrrrhghg idk do [edited by moderator] something. 

[rav3n]

hey @The-red-centaur i saw your post about missing your old life, i can resonate to parts of that too. i'm really sorry you feel that way, change can definitely be overwhelming and it's okay to miss the past. its totally okay if todays one of those days that you grieve over the past. but the beauty of the present and future is that there's so much potential positive change to come. i know it might be hard to see that right now, but it is there, and you are so strong for holding on and working on creating that positive change for yourself. today's one of those tough days, and that's okay, you can get through this. would ringing SCBS/Lifeline (whichever one isn't on hold for too long) or talking to a SANE counsellor in the meantime help? we can chat on the forums while you wait. know that you matter to us, please do reach out for support:

• 000 Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
• Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs) 13 11 14
• Suicide callback service (24 Hrs) 1300 659 467
• Mental health crisis support — where to get help | healthdirect

[Shaz51]

Hello and hugs 🫂 @The-red-centaur 

Sitting with you my awesome friend 🧡 

Everything might feel overwhelming at the moment 

What is in you Coping Toolbox ( what is in yours to help you cope ) 

I like having cuppas , how about you @Ru-bee , @rav3n , @tyme , @Jynx 

[rav3n]

love the coping toolbox @Shaz51 😊

mine would have a putty dough, my headphones/music & this one doesn't fit inside the toolbox but spending time in the sun ☀️

@The-red-centaur keen to hear yours too!

[The-red-centaur]

Hi

It's been a while. I've been battling big feelings and bigger thoughts. I feel like it's pointless to reach out and tell people what's in my mind. I feel like a burden. 

I don't want to wake up. But I'm too tired to put those thoughts to action. It also feels like a waste to action it coz it would just become some else's problem and I don't want them to clean up the mess. 

I'm in a real dark pplace.i can't communicate and feel like it's pointless to try. I have come here and starred at the screen a lot. Written it all down to only delete it. Posting, reaching out, talking. It all feels too much. 

[Ainjoule]

Hey @The-red-centaur 

I'm glad that you were able to put pen to paper, so to speak, and write down a little of how you are feeling. You are not, nor have you ever been, a burden. I can hear that you are in a really dark place. Do you have any self care strategies that might be able to put into practise tonight? e.g. taking a shower or listening to music. Are you safe tonight? 

[penyourfeels]

Hey @The-red-centaur,

I am moderating the forum tonight and wanted to check in with you with regards to this post. I can see that things are really tricky for you at the moment, thank you for reaching out to share. We are experiencing some system issues and will check in with you via email soon, but in the meantime just wanted to check if you were safe tonight? You are not too much and deserve to be supported. 

Please ring crisis helplines like lifeline 131114 or 000 if you are in need of immediate support tonight. 

[Jynx]

Hi lovely @The-red-centaur I'm sorry last night was so awful. Here for you my friend, sending some hugs. How are you travelling today hun? 💜

[The-red-centaur]

@Ainjoule @penyourfeels @Jynx 

I'm not much better. I'm just so tired. I'm seeing my psychologist today. I feel like I'm going to just go through the motions of everything.