New to SANE

[Jojo37]

Hi all,

I have been dignosed with BPD, Post Tramantic Depression/Anxiety. I am really struggling at the moment. I am only just getting help now at the age of 37. Two weeks ago I really, really want to not be in this world any more. I had to ask my 16 year old son to come in and talk to me to keep me thinking about something else. It seem to work but if my son wasn't home I'm not sure what would have happened.

I have worked everywhere as I have had over 37 jobs. I am the one that always quits. Then I regret it straight away.

I have my husband who has been a champion. We have been together for 18 years and married for 10 on Thursday. I still even for this long ask myself why he is with me and why he puts up with my illnesses. I look at myself everyday and I don't like what I see. I am over weight and don't like one thing about myself.

My family is a Trigger to my mental illness. (my side of family, not Hubby or Son)

I guess this is a downer message. Sorry.

Regards

Jojo

[Mazarita]

Welcome @Jojo37,

Sorry to hear you are struggling. It's good that you are now getting some professional help. Are you seeing someone regularly? You are not alone in having had many jobs in your life. I have had as many or maybe even more. Great that your husband is a champion. Again, with my partner, I relate to questions such as 'why is he with me?' The wonderful thing is they are with us. The best we can do is try to accept the love and give as much as we can in return. Don't worry too much about posting downer messages here. We are all struggling with our mental health on the forum. You've come to a good place if you'd like to talk more.

[Former-Member]

Hi and welcome,
It's great that you are here and it's not a downer message. I'm sorry things are so hard right now but I see that you have gotten some help for you now. I hope that you are feeling supported.
Wow married for ten years, that shows strength and love there, I hope you can continue to be as strong in your recovery 🙂
I also have ptsd, anxiety and depression. And I no longer have anything to do with my family. But I'm a single mama to two little ones (4 and 7)
I hope you find the forums helpful - post any questions that you want to share or ask - it's a very supportive place,
Lj

[Appleblossom]

Welcome @Jojo37

You dont need to apologise about downer message ... by expressing how you are you are more likely to improve your situation ... denial causes all sorts of addtional problems

I feel bad that my children know how badly I feel.  But too many false fronts arent healthy in intimate relationships either ....

[Former-Member]

Hi @Jojo37

Firstly I just wanted to say welcome to the Forums – it is great to have you be a part of our community. 🙂

I am sorry to hear things have been so difficult for you lately… I can imagine living with BPD combined with depressions/anxiety could be very hard. But it is lovely to hear your husband and son have been a good source of support for you.

There are a few members on here who have a lived experience of BPD, such as @Billamba @MockingJay @sunnydays  @Shadow  @Raven  @Crazy_Bug_Lady and many more living with depression and anxiety. I hope you can find some new friends on here who have walked a similar journey to yourself.

I’m wondering Jojo37 whether you might like to stop by at our next 'Friday Feast' thread. This is a fun community even that happens each Friday, where our community gets together over a virtual meal, just to chat and hang out. It can provide a great opportunity to ‘meet’ some of the other members on here. Look forward to getting to know you.

All the best,
Mosaic.

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Hi @Jojo37 welcome to the forums! I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and Social Anxiety.
There's always chats going. At night theres "the night shift" and we've got "welcome wednesday" and "friday feast". I'm usually around for Friday Feast, so I'll try to remember to remind you. 🙂

[Billamba]

Hello again @Jojo37

I 'met' you on my thread about BPD and managing emotions. I'm pretty new to this forum as well but find it good to know I'm not alone on this journey.

I look forward to chatting to you more. 🙂

[ninablack]

Hi, I'm new on here and have bpd, I've been hospitalized four times over eight years, and have learned nothing about the disorder or myself, so in the last six months I've been self studying by using the internet, now I've join this forum, I'm finding it very helpful and easier to learn about myself,, now I feel like I'm getting somewhere.