BPD and managing emotions

[Billamba]

How does everyone manage their emotions?

I seem to either be feeling things very quickly and intensely or I am quite numb.

I'm having a really hard time at the moment with moving home after 5 years living interstate and everything in my life changing (feels basically like I am moving to a totally new place although my family are there that's not at all a good thing and brings a new dimension of stress). I am honestly an emotional wreck on the roller coaster of hell at the moment.

[Jojo37]

I can't really tell you how to manage your emotions as I can't do it myself. However I know it's easy to say but look at the new place and pick some positives. (easy said than done)

Maybe make some plans around the new place that you want to do? Change the colour, new plant etc.. even if its a new dinner set? Keep your mind on what is around you, maybe look around your area and explore it a bit so you can try and feel comfortable. Just an idea 🙂

Living next to your family that causes stress, you really need to look after yourself. Maybe tell them how you feel and if they understand BPD, then they should listen. This one I'm trying to work out myself, I have had to tell my family I can't cope with them at the moment until I can learn how to deal with their company.

I really hope everything works out.

Keep smiling

Jojo

[Appleblossom]

Managing emotions ... means different things .. so much depends on you and your circumstance ... is the emotion angst ... or are you feeling languid or manic .... emotions are a part of our lives and influence what will make us feel well ...

I am older and in a much more physically stable place than earlier on .... so I can detach my feelings from my house ... though I still look at other suburbs and think moving can be an option ... I explore them and write about them in different ways ... if I am high energy I focus on gardening cleaning walking etc .... I try and match my feeling state with the best activity ... sometimes that is just rest ...

I am not big on retail therapy ... but was a proud mum and bought son a fancy hat the other day ... and some new pots for me ... or should I give them to him ...

Any other ideas...

[Billamba]

Hi Jojo,
Thanks so much for your response. 🙂
Currently my family don't know about my diagnoses. They are aware I was depressed a few years back (still am!) but as far as they are aware I'm all good now. Instead my list of diagnoses has just gotten longer, depression, anxiety, an eating disorder and now BPD.
I don't have the relationship with them that I can share that with them which is really hard and can make for it to be quite a lonely experience. I guess this is another stress as I will be leaving behind my GP, the nurse that I see quite regularly and my mental health nurse and starting again with new people.

I like your idea of picking out some positives of moving home and there are plenty even though it is very scary. I really need to make a list of these things to remind myself in times of high stress and emotional discomfort.

Thanks for taking the time to response Jojo.
🙂 B

[Billamba]

Hi Appleblossum,

Sorry I just saw your post hence the lack of response to you in the above post!
I guess the emotions are pretty dark and then I can't see past them. A lot of angst, panic and thoughts of SH (I am still staying on top of this thank god but for how long I can I don't know).
Retail therapy is a massive downfall of mine.
I have to go to work now but will respond more this evening.

Thank you for your response and kind suggestions.
B 🙂

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Billamba

Sorry to hear that you are in such a dark place.

When you move "home" will you be living with parents and therefore not abloe to hide that you also need MH support ... or will you have own place and so can maybe be in a bit more control of how to break it to them?

I dont mean to be inquisitive ... but they can be very different scenarios.

Glad you have managed to stay on top of SH thoughts ...

I am doing ok in that arena, but my GP gave me a lot more medication today ... so I can sttay on top of it too.

Dont know the best way to proceed ... but have found it valuable to read and share on these forums.

Hope your day at work goes ok ... wil you have a job to go to? ... there are so many issues with moving ...

cheers

[Billamba]

Hey Appleblossum,

Once again, thank you so much for replying.

When I move home I will be living with my parents. In saying that, my folks have a vineyard 2 and a bit hours from what I call home so Mum spends most of her week there and Dad spends about half of his week there while he manages their other businesses so I will have the home house to myself for about half the week I guess giving myself some more space.

SH is such a tricky thing isn't it. I'm glad you are also managing it okay with the help of your GP and medication. I have an appt with the mental health nurse I work with on Thurssay so will need to talk to her about it more then.

Moving home I won't have a job to go to. I am moving home to study (another stress in itself entirely!) so won't be able to work full time but am hoping to pick up some causal work although I am very conscious of 'overloading my basket' and having a meltdown.

I guess I just have to read and share when I can on here. It's nice to read I'm not alone in this struggle although it saddens me that others are in the same or worse boat than myself.

Back to packing - a totally depressing task in itself. I hope you have had a nice day @appleblossum

[AnnieB]

Hello Billambra

just been readin your posts. At the risk of giving unwanted advice... Has anyone suggested mindfulness? Or Cognitive Therapy? It's pretty hard struggling alone without a bucket of  tools and strategies.

good luck

AnnieB

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Hi @Billamba

I hate my everchanging emotions. I got a MHP two years ago, and I've been seeing a psychiatrist monthly since February. It is unbelievably frustrating how much work and effort I need to go through, just so I can pass for normal.

Along with medication, what helps me is to fill out a Thought Record. The idea is to describe the situation, your emotions, automatic thoughts. Then you need to find evidence that do and do not support the thought. I can't link to one sorry, but if you Google "CBT Thought Record". The idea is to fill one of these out each time you have overwhelmng thoughts. After a while you learn to do it in your head.

Hope your okay

-CBL-

[Billamba]

Hi @AnnieB!

Yes, the mental health nurse I see has started to do some CBT based therapy and has recommend some excellent books on mindfulness to have up my sleeve when I move home as well working through some things in our sessions. 

I find it very hard to remember coping strategies in the moment when my emotions peak. I either go into overdrive with my thoughts or a sort of numbess. I am quite a visual person so one thing I have decided to do is create a really careful bright page of strategies I have learnt so far and see if I can visualise it in the moment rather than going off the top of my head. 

I find it frustrating because I just want to be normal and I want to be normal now. So to have so little control over my emotions is very frustrating. It's hard too because all the while I am painting on this visardrd that I am normal, I am in control and nothing is wrong is very hard. I wish I could let people in but trust is such an issue for me and I just don't want to be rejected. 

Sorry for the rambling post, I have gone quite off track to what you asked. Thank you so much for your suggestions. X