Lived Experience Forum

[Dimity]

Hope you're not too cold @NatureLover . 

Did you watch the coronation? As a ritual i found it extraordinary. 

Thursday I went for a walk with my helper. It was nice but I've been avoiding the decluttering. 

[NatureLover]

Hi @Dimity ...yes, it's been cold! That's good you got out for a walk on Thursday with your helper. I need to get outside today to rake the leaves before the rain arrives. 

I remember back to the many, many years I couldn't afford to run the heat. Occasionally I would allow myself 10 minutes of heat, when I felt I was too cold to even think or do anything except go to bed to warm up. I feel so fortunate now, with my inheritance that gave me some breathing space. I feel awful for the homeless people 😞

I didn't watch the Coronation, no...I don't have a TV (by choice). I could watch it online I guess, but am not that interested. 

I didn't raise the itchy skin issue at the GP as we're only allowed 2 issues per visit, and I had used mine up. Next time I can though.

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@Dimity wrote:

Yes, I've had a lot of angst with resurfacing memories and feelings.  Part of it was to do with the decluttering but the additional turmoil of the last couple of months has compounded it. And I'm tired of my social isolation and ineptitude. The clinic told me today I'll have to wait 3 months for another MHCP but my psychologist and I don't think I can wait that long so we've agreed to some private sessions. I'm privileged - my health fund should contribute.

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So pleased you can afford to fill in the 3 month gap with some private sessions 👍 I really hope your turmoil eases, but I know with trauma, it surfaces when it wants to surface 😞

[NatureLover]

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@Bow wrote:

@NatureLover  Hoping today has a little bit of sunshine in it for you. I’m sorry that things are so overwhelming for you. Truly wish there was some magical way to fix things for you. 💕

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Thanks for your sweet wishes, dear @Bow ...I wish the same for you...

[NatureLover]

I see you on the support button, @Emelia8 ...hope you're coping OK...

[Dimity]

I'm glad life is a little easier for you now @NatureLover . I don't have a TV either and rarely stream on my tablet.

Best wishes for tomorrow. 

[Dimity]

Hope you're OK @NatureLover . Thinking of you.

My helper is finishing up. I'll miss her  

[NatureLover]

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@Dimity wrote:

My helper is finishing up. I'll miss her  

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Oh no, @Dimity ! Sorry to hear! 😞

When is she finishing? Is this due to funds, or is she moving elsewhere? (No need to answer if you'd rather not)

Thanks for youre kind thoughts. Been pretty busy, and was sick on Thursday so stayed in bed all morning (no SANE forums). Back on deck today. 

You're the only other person I've ever met without a TV. So nice to hear! (At least, I assume it's out of choice? Not due to cost?)

Thanks for your 2 messages ❤️ Please let me know how you're feeling about your helper leaving.

[Dimity]

Glad you're over your illness @NatureLover . 

My helper is moving onto greener pastures... a career progression. I've overshared with her - but she's given me amazing support - and it will be hard to start again with somebody new. I'll need to re-evaluate my situation. It feels very daunting. 

Yes, I don't feel the need for a TV, it seems extraneous. I guess the big screen would be helpful for something like streaming yoga and exercises, or for movies,  but it's not a priority and I'm not sure where I'd put it.

I have hopes of achieving something this weekend.  I'll let you know how I go.

Hope you achieve something too.

[NatureLover]

I'm sorry your helper is moving on to something else, @Dimity  😞 Yes, starting again with someone new is daunting. Will you re-evaluate whether you need /can afford /can face a new helper, is that what you mean?

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@Dimity wrote:

I'm not sure where I'd put it.

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I can so relate to this. There's not a square inch of space left in my house for anything.  As I walk through the hosue I knock things over, as there's only very narrow pathways through the lounge and kitchen 😞

How did you go on the weekend? 

I didn't achieve much other than laundry, but it was beautifully sunny as you know, so I spent quite a bit of time outside in the garden, which does me good.

[Dimity]

Yes I'll be thinking about all of those things @NatureLover . It's also a bit painful as I find it hard to make connections, and will especially feel the loss at this time when I'm still struggling and needing support. 

On the weekend I bought more boxes to pack stuff that's off-site. For many years I lived between 2 or even 3 houses.  And now I have stuff in 2 places and again don't feel at home in either, yet am torn between them. To me home should be about connection and belonging and maybe owning too much stuff is trying to compensate for that. Maybe that's why it's hard to let go. 

I'm glad you saw some sun in your garden. Hopefully it helped. Rain again tomorrow. 

Tomorrow I meet a potential new helper and I feel ashamed. Wish me luck.