Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

[Oaktree]

@NatureLover @Dimity @Eve7 @Anastasia @Kyle1 @HenryX 

Hi guys,

I wouldn’t say that I was a hoarder but I definitely have a problem with clutter. I have piles everywhere and no homes for anything. I have trouble throwing anything away because I am sentimental or I think it might be useful and I don’t want to be in the position where I have to rebuy the item. I wish I could conquer the clutter as I prefer to live in a neat house but it’s so difficult! The house is always a mess and I actively dissuade people from visiting. This ends up with me feeling lonely and isolated. Hubby just got a job today so I am going to be at home alone at least 3 days a week, possibly more. Whilst I am glad that he has finally gotten a job after nearly 3 years unemployed, I am going to miss the company. Looking around my bedroom, it is a disaster zone. Probably the worst room in the house. I would love it to be my sanctuary. Please send help!

Meggle

[tyme]

Hey @Oaktree ! 

I WAS similar to that. I kept EVERYTHING - for sentimental value.... even my dog's hair...and tooth... and plastic bags...I had so much stored away that a semitrailer wouldn't have been able to store it!

Then... I got this 'thing' in my head.... and now I'm a minimalist. I don't keep anything. I think it is because I realised that if I were to 'go', I didn't want people having to clean up after me. 

So what I don't need NOW... I tend to get rid of.

I'm not sure if it helps to know that I was in a similar situation.

[Oaktree]

Thanks for sharing @tyme 

I guess there is always the chance to change. I have to work out my priorities.

Meggle

[tyme]

I can't say I was a hoarder, but I always thought to save something for a rainy day @Oaktree . 

Now, once in a while, I'll remember an old jumper I threw out, but other than that, I don't tend to remember all the gift bags and plastic bags I kept for all those years.

I think it's about starting small. It's not about an entire revolution - do what's comfortable for yourself.

e.g you may start with one cupboard. Then as you do that, hopefully you'll get into the scheme of things.

Of course, if there was the matter of hoarding involved, I think it would be a totally different matter - from experience, I think there are deeper reasons that need to be handled gently rather than 'just get rid of it'. 

All the best 🙂

[Dimity]

Hello @Oaktree you and your husband must be pleased he's found work... I do hope it suits and he enjoys it. It sounds like a good time to start a decluttering project. It's great you have a vision for your bedroom - for it to be a sanctuary - it will inspire you and help keep you motivated. 

I think @tyme is right, there are often deeper issues behind hoarding as distinct from living with clutter. In my experience c-ptsd and depression can be part of the picture.  

My own decluttering has staļled for over a month. I used to be able to work at it steadily,  aiming to do some just about every day. At the moment I'm struggling to keep up with chores and have lost sight of my goals... actually my plans such as they were have been upended and I need to start again. 

This thread of @NatureLover 's helps keep me going. You'd also be welcome to join me on The magic of tidying .

[Dimity]

@NatureLover I'm glad your neighbour salvaged a cutting. If it takes root it should grow fairly quickly. 

My place is out of control too. I drew up a list of some of the things I need to do... but as with the stuff don't know where to start. 

I broke my coffee plunger this morning.  Tried Woolies and Kmart and finally found one in a little variety shop. 

Tomorrow is Thursday again and I'm ashamed of seeing my helper again with no progress and no plans. Maybe that's why I need her!

[NatureLover]

How did Thursday go, @Dimity ? Was thinking of you... So glad you got a coffee plunger, phew 😄

I feel completely overwhelmed, alarmed and panicky at the chaos in my house, and don't even know where to start. It's been a too-busy week so things are really out of control at home. Sorry I haven't been around much. Hope you are all coping OK...

@Dimity  @Eve7  @Bow   @Snowie 

[Bow]

Hey @NatureLover  im so sad to read that things have been so bad for you recently. I have noticed your absence and thought that maybe you weren’t in a good place. 

is there anything that can help improve things for you hon? 

[Dimity]

Hello @NatureLover you say you feel completely overwhelmed, alarmed and panicky at the chaos in your house, and don't even know where to start. Hugs... breath... I know that feeling and am wrestling with it too and trying to self-sooth.

Thursday I talked and wept and didn't achieve any decluttering. Friday I spoke to my psychiatrist who remarked on how tangled up I am atm. Friday night (yesterday) I looked at some cptsd sites and very much identified with what I read, which I think had been slowly dawning on me for a while. 

Today I decided to count to a few things in each room, nothing dramatic,  just simple tidying, and ended up decluttering some papers. It's the best I've done in a while. 

Hang in there @NatureLover we'll get there. At least we can keep each other company on the journey. 

I can hear birds outside... maybe the rain is easing.

[NatureLover]

Thanks for your beautiful message @Dimity  ❤️

It sounds like on Thursday you needed to offload to your helper...I think it's a good thing you were able to do that. I am so sorry that you probably have cPTSD 😞 Also that you're feeling completely overwhelmed and panicky about your house 😞

Yet you still managed to declutter some papers, well done. 

I didn't achieve much yesterday but this morning am feeling a little better (touch wood). I decided to risk 20 minutes of the therapy light box this morning...it was so bright and friendly, it was lovely. Yesterday I was trying my old trick that usually works well, starting in the bedroom at the neat-ish, clean-ish end of the house and working to the other, chaotic, end of the house. That didn't work for once, so today I think I will prioritise and tackle the small kitchen bench, which is almost unfunctional, and the lounge-room bags on the floor. I am out of grocery bags so need to wash some today. 

My nice neighbour gave me 4 salvias the other day...she also gave my neighbour who is on NDIS 4 salvias. Sadly this neighbour won't take care of them, so I'll have to. So I am tossing up whether to increase my huge watering burden in summer by planting my 4 salvias, or giving them back. They are purple, hot pink and a lovely white-and-pink one. Either way, I can't cope with planting them yet anyway, till the house is a bit functional. I'm not even talking about decluttering the hoard, just basic getting the house functional! 

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@Dimity wrote:

At least we can keep each other company on the journey. 

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This is lovely, thank you ❤️ 

Will you bring up the cPTSD to your psychologist and psychiatrist? 

Sending wishes that you feel a bit stronger today 💚